


A Series of Truly Unfortunate Events

by MrMaximilian



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Amnesia, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Gender or Sex Swap, Hisoka is still crazy, I try to be funny, M/M, My OC swears a lot, Pervs everywhere, Rating May Change, Sarcasm, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, The Phantom Troupe, Threesome - M/M/M, Watch my OC go through hell, lots of sass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9085237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMaximilian/pseuds/MrMaximilian
Summary: It’s not every day you suddenly wake up in the Hunter X Hunter Universe. Now, you’re probably thinking: “Yawn, this is gonna be another fic where the OC is ridiculously overpowered and everyone falls in love with them, isn’t it?” Sadly for me, that assumption was completely and utterly wrong.(Eventual M/M - Expect copious amounts of sass.)





	1. How it all began

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my OC fic! After seeing all the creative ones on here, I thought i'd try my hand too!
> 
> As a heads up - my next chapters will be longer, this one is simply an introduction :)  
> Hope you enjoy it!  
> ~Max

It’s not every day you suddenly wake up in the Hunter X Hunter Universe. Now, you’re probably thinking: “Yawn, this is going to be another fic where the OC is ridiculously overpowered and everyone falls in love with them, isn’t it?”  
  
Sadly for me, that wasn’t the case.

My story begins with me lying in my perfectly normal bed in the real world, having a lovely dream about Togashi taking Hunter X Hunter off hiatus and everything being alright. Nothing that happens in dreams can affect you, right? I thought that was true, until my mind wandered and I found my dream self talking to the old woman who issued Gon and his friends the quiz before the hunter exam. I vaguely recalled that she never had a name, only being known as “quizzing lady” - how original. I stood in front of her booth, tapping my foot as I waited for something dramatic to happen.

“EXCITING TWO-CHOICE QUIZ!”

There was a belated fanfare from her masked accomplices as I continued to stare at her, not fazed by her sudden raise in voice. Considering I knew what was about to happen, her theatrics couldn’t scare me in the slightest.

“I shall administer a single-question quiz which you have 5 seconds to answer. Give me the wrong answer, and I shall change your life’s trajectory. Give me anything but the answer and you will be disqualified.” She hid her expression behind her hands, simply looking at me with her squinted eyes. I rolled my shoulders in a shrug, silently commending myself for what could be an entertaining dream.

Scuffing the ground with my flat shoes, I nodded. “Sure, bring it.”

A small horn tooted before she spoke, and I had to stifle a giggle.  
“Would you rather spend your life oblivious to the fact that the world was an illusion, or be the only one to know that you were all trapped in one?” Her right brow raised ever so slightly as I gawked back at her, mouth agape.

“Shit, that’s a pretty deep question.” My forehead creased as I considered it. It’s always said that ignorance is bliss, and knowing the truth whilst not being able to convince anyone else would annoy the living hell out of me. But that would also assume I couldn’t persuade others to see the truth too, and this wasn’t addressed in the question. Maybe I could ask her?  
I cast my eyes up at her, not realising I’d been looking down as I thought.

“Can I clarify part of the question, please? It’s too vague for me to answer.” I chuckled nervously at her, wondering if my dream would end right then and there. I hoped not – I wanted to see where this went.

But she simply placed her hands on her lap, revealing a thin lipped smile as her eyes almost fully opened.

“You already gave me an answer, and it was wrong, so the question doesn’t matter anymore.” I blinked dumbly at her, confused. I hadn’t given her an answer, what the hell was she talking about?

 _Oh,_ but I had.

“That wasn’t an answer, that was just me telling you that I thought it was a deep question! Can I try again?” I mentally cursed myself for unknowingly speaking my thoughts aloud, remembering that she had explicitly stated that if I said anything but the answer, I was disqualified.  
  
“No.” she spoke flatly, and I sighed. This dream was going to be boring after all. I began to turn away from her, hoping this would prompt the next part of my dreams for the night, or simply wake me up.  
  
“That’s a shame. This was just getting fun too…” I mumbled. But then the pressure of a hand landing roughly on my shoulder caused my eyes to widen, realising one of her masked friends had grabbed onto me, pivoting me on my heels and forcing me to face her again.  
  
Her tone was still dull as she spoke. “Now your destiny is irrevocably changed, take care.” I scoffed at her, a smirk crossing my features.  
“Whatever, this is a stupid dream anyway.” And with those words the narrow street was swallowed from my vision as I felt myself falling, consumed by an abyss as I tried to latch onto something. Great, one of those dreams that would jolt you awake.

I was right, for my whole body spasmed as my eyes snapped open. I let out a sigh as I rubbed my eyes, the harsh morning light piercing through my window. Was it morning already? I reached for my duvet, deciding to snuggle myself in it instead of facing the day ahead. Five minutes wouldn’t hurt…

Except my hands made contact with something hard, and I wasn’t lying down. I cursed as I whacked my hand against a plastic table, wondering if I’d managed to fall asleep at my desk. I peeked down at my hands for any damage before deciding to crawl to my bed. But the muscular tone of my fingers made me stop my automatic gestures, causing me to stare at them. Shit, they were larger too.

And I wasn’t in my room, I was in a fucking elevator. And not just any elevator – it was the one I recalled from the Hunter Exam. Is this still part of the dream? I thought to pinch myself, hard -That’s what my sister told me to do if you weren’t sure you were dreaming. But when my fingers made contact with my skin, gripping it firmly, I let out a deep growl of pain. I realised I was no longer familiar with my own voice, wondering when my imaginary balls had dropped.

I was fairly sure I wasn’t dreaming, and I probably looked as well as sounded like a dude.

Well, shit.

* * *

 

So like me, you probably knew what was going to happen next. I was going to follow the Hunter X Hunter storyline for goodness knows how long, and I would gain some amazing superpower that would entice me to either Gon’s group and we’d all dance of into the sunset.

I was wrong, again.

Sometime between me leaving the elevator and instantly wanting to skulk into the dark areas of the tunnel, I’d been given the badge number #62. I wanted to cower away from everyone, or find a damn mirror so I could see how awful I looked. After briefly running my hands over my body in the elevator down, I realised I was _definitely_ a male now. No question about it.

And I swore I could mentally hear the flamenco music that started when the magician walked towards me. Repressing a sigh, I met his yellow eyes, who were glancing down at me in surprise.

“It’s certainly a shock to see you here Ray-chan, I didn’t think you needed a licence~” He drawled in his slightly seductive, but mainly predatory tone as one of his talons extended towards me. Hell no, I didn’t want him touching me! I jumped back – as far as I could whilst being sandwiched between an elevator and a creepy clown who was at least a foot taller than me. His hand delicately raised to his lips to conceal his amusement at my reaction.

“What I’m doing here is none of your business.” I decided to say in a level tone, unsure what my supposed relationship was with him. I was more concerned with the fact he knew my nickname, and he was staring down at me as if we were more than just friends, ick. Then again, that might be how he stared at everyone…

“Oh my, you’re more nervous than usual~ you’ll need that energy of yours to get through this exam. Bye for now!” He winked at me before immediately turning on his heel, casually gliding away as if nothing had happened. I didn’t get the chance to catch the calculating gaze that had formed in his eyes as he went to talk to #301, who I remembered as Gittarackur. Guess I’d just avoid him for now until I figured out how the hell he knew me, or whoever he was mistaking me for.

I knew what was going to happen next, so I decided to ignore the events that proceeded: Hisoka taking the arms off somebody, Tonpa offering his poisoned juice, as well as Gon, Kurapika and Leorio’s arrival. Instead I thought I’d use the opportunity to check out my new body. For some reason, I’d come into this world with a cellphone in the pocket of the grey boardshorts I was wearing, and I used its reflection to analyse my appearance. My once feminine face had become chiselled at the edges, gaunt cheekbones drawing into soft lips. My eyes were slightly slanted upwards, giving the impression that I was constantly looking down at other people. They were a light cerulean, a far cry from my once hazelnut orbs. Barely ear-length black hair was swept to one side, creating a fringe that obscured one of my eyes. Apart from that, I was wearing a black vest with matching trainers, with a nose ring sitting comfortably between my nostrils.

Great, I looked like a scene kid.

Stifling a snort, I flicked through the phone to see if anything was of interest. Sadly for me, it was completely empty apart from two contacts, one marked with a large love heart and the other with a needle emoji: Hisoka and Illumi. Weird.

The sound of hundreds of feet beginning to pound in the same direction drew me out of my stupor, causing me to immediately chase after the throng of people. I ducked my head as I searched for something else – _anything_ else in my pockets that would help me with the endless run ahead. I had no super speed or stamina. Hell, I didn’t even know why I was here! So how was I going to run for so long? Now would be a good time for me to just suddenly remember I had some ridiculously overpowered ability that would let me finish this part of the exam.

I racked my brain for a few seconds, eyes squinting shut in concentration. Nope, nothing. Whoever threw me into this universe wasn’t feeling merciful.

But the crop of flaming red hair caught my attention as a truly awful idea plagued my mind. It would be embarrassing, disgusting and humiliating, but it might just get me through the exam.

“Hey, Hisoka! How about giving me a piggyback ‘til the end? I’ll pay you back!” I asked sweetly, much to the aghast of everyone else around me, who all suddenly decided to give me a wide berth. Maybe I was insane, since I’d just told myself to stay away from him, but when the need arises…

“What a delightful idea~!”

Within seconds, strong arms wrapped themselves under my shoulders as I was hoisted onto the clown’s back. Wow, he was suspiciously quick in taking me up on my offer. And my sinking suspicions were confirmed when I caught Hisoka’s expression, unnervingly similar to a child about to eat his favourite food. I was going to owe him after this, wasn’t I?

“You should have your legs around me more often, Ray-chan~”

Yup, I _definitely_ owed him.


	2. An Uncomfortable Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray finds himself in a situation he doesn't want to be in.

“Hey! You can’t be on someone’s back, that’s cheating!” I heard Leorio yell as Hisoka continued to carry me. It had been around two hours, and they weren’t kidding when they said the first phase took forever. The clown beneath me hadn’t even broken a sweat, and I thought I may as well use this chance to study his face more closely. Contrary to my original belief, he didn’t paint his whole body white, his skin really was an unnatural ivory- although the decorations on his face seemed to be delicately applied with costume makeup. Shit, Hisoka was probably better at makeup than I was…

I poked my tongue out at Leorio, deciding to mimic the words that Killua would’ve used earlier. “The examiner only told us to follow him; that’s what I’m doing.” I felt the small beginnings of a laugh travel up Hisoka’s spine as the doctor’s jaw dropped.

“You should still be running like the rest of us!” He insisted, and I considered teasing the boy even more; I had nothing to lose by being an asshole. Pretending to appear confused, I drew my index finger to my lips, cocking my head to one side.

“But why? It’s not my fault if you couldn’t think of anything to help you through the exam.” Leorio’s face contorted and scrunched into one of rage, choking on his own spit as he tried to respond, too frustrated to even form a coherent sentence.

“You shouldn’t tease him like that.” A voice said gently from behind Leorio’s lanky body, and I was met with a pair of grey eyes. Oh yeah, Kurapika was here. I rubbed the back of my head nervously, instantly brandishing an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, I like to wind people up. I didn’t mean it Leorio!” I said to try and pacify the raging teenager, who only huffed as he deliberately slowed down, wanting to leave my presence. Or maybe he was exhausted- either way I didn’t particularly care. But Kurapika stayed a minute longer, gaze still lingering intensely on mine, eyes narrowing.

“How did you know his name?”

I did everything in my power to stop my smile from completely falling on the spot. Wow, I was a dumbass- I forgot I didn’t actually _know_ these people. However it didn’t stop me from responding chirpily, stretching my lips into a forceful smile as I jabbed a thumb in Gon and Killua’s direction, who were only a few metres ahead of us.

“I heard you all talking at the start, you were pretty loud.” I said sheepishly, not looking at Kurapika as I blatantly lied. It seemed to satisfy his curiousity though, as he didn’t question me further.

“Well, since you know our names, what’s yours?” He was looking over his shoulder, obviously concerned for his friend. I could see in his posture that he was itching to go back to his aid, and was only staying next to me and Hisoka to be polite. May as well put him out of his misery.

“I’m Ray, and you should go help your friend. Looks like he needs it.” I spoke dismissively as Hisoka picked up his pace, causing me to feel like a limpet attached to his back; He was obviously bored with the conversation. Kurapika simply nodded and faded from my vision, and I focused on the end ahead of us, the tiny speck of light teasing me in the distance. However, it didn’t capture my attention for long as I felt Hisoka’s voice rumble lowly from his chest.

“You better not be thinking about taking my prey, because even as entertaining as you are, your next breath will be your last.” He said so flippantly, causing me to dry swallow as I tried to catch a glimpse of his expression. He was completely stony-faced, no obvious emotion on his features. But I knew he was entirely serious. I tried to stifle the fear that had crept into my stomach as I simply grinned back at him.

“Nothing to worry about there. I don’t particularly want to fight anyone.” I admitted, watching as Hisoka’s signature smirk formed on his lips, now bounding up the stairs ahead of us. Jesus, these people were superhuman or something.

“I understand. In your situation, I wouldn’t want to reveal my abilities either.” He murmured almost thoughtfully, and I hoped he couldn’t feel me tense on his back.

_Eh? What abilities?_ I almost asked, but something gnawed at me not to confess to my cluelessness at who people thought I was. The only thing I’d gathered so far was that I was still called Ray, which was originally short for Raven, but I didn’t think that was my full name anymore. I was also a guy – which I didn’t mind in the slightest- and I had some sort of ability (Maybe Nen?) that Hisoka knew of. Jeez, I was really starting to sound like a Mary Sue.

Luckily for me, Hisoka and I had reached the exit. He nonchalantly threw me off his back as if I’d just been an item of luggage. It didn’t particularly bother me, apart from the fact it warranted some sniggers from the other applicants as I brushed the dust that had gathered on my grey shorts. I tried to remain oblivious to their whispers about my being here, my supposed “cheating”, and the questions of how I was associated with the clown. After all, I was sure most of them were going to die anyway, so I felt no reason to give a shit.

Ignoring the cannon fodder for the next part of the phase, I decided to rest my back against an oak tree as I watched the other applicants arrive. I was offered a bottle of water from the dude in the pink turban – _Pokkle_ – which I gladly accepted. The kid certainly answered my question about how these people never seemed to eat or drink during the entire Hunter Exam and managed to survive.

I sensed two people walking up to me before I even looked at them, relief flooding through my muscles as I realised it was just Gon and Killua. Although I wasn’t tall, I certainly stood at least a foot taller than the young pair, and this reassured me slightly. Gon’s face was bright with childlike curiousity, whereas Killua regarded me with an air of wariness, probably dragged over here by his new friend.

“Hi! I’m Gon!” He began, holding out a hand. I grasped it lightly, realising that the kid had quite a grip on him already. It was not difficult to place a smile on my face as I introduced myself.

“I’m Ray, and you are Killua, right?” I asked as the green-haired boy released my hand, staring at me in surprise. “I overheard you talking.” I quickly added, repeating the bluff I had said before to their other two companions.

“Yeah, that’s me. How old are you?” He asked me, some of the hostility having melted away at the positive vibes that surrounded both me and Gon. I wasn’t going to be mean to a bunch of kids for the sake of it, especially because I knew they were probably stronger than me.

“I’m 17, 18 in a month.” I guessed, considering I’d been that age before I’d been rudely transported into this world.  “So I’m a little older than you guys.” The boys nodded in agreement, Gon rocking restlessly on his heels as he wanted to ask me more questions.

“And why do you want to become a Hunter?” I should’ve been expecting this question, really. I was hoping I could get by with some half-assed excuse for being here, hoping I wouldn’t ever be probed for details until I perhaps made it to the final phase. I rolled my shoulders in a shrug, appearing blasé.

“I need it for my future.” I said casually, watching as Gon was about to open his mouth to ask _even more damn questions_ before Satotz stopped him by closing the tunnel’s exit. I snorted a little as a guy failed to get past the iron curtain, probably trapped in that tunnel forever.

And then the man-faced ape appeared, and I tried not to look bored as it felt like I was watching the anime all over again. I impatiently tapped my foot, wondering what I’d do to get through this next little part of the exam. It wasn’t like I could ask Hisoka for a piggyback again, but maybe I wouldn’t need to, considering it wasn’t as long as the first phase. Following Satotz seemed like a bad idea, since I’d probably end up as swamp meat for whatever trap was ahead, so I may as well tag along with Kurapika and Leorio and then tail Hisoka back to the camp. I got the feeling that Hisoka wouldn’t care if I followed him, although this would raise his interest in me further. Whatever, it wasn’t like I had many options.

I’d been so spaced out that I’d missed the cards that had been launched both at Satotz and the imposter, as well as the _schwick_ of something nestling itself into the bark about an inch away from my head. My eyes lazily dragged to my left, noting an ace of clubs embedded into the tree’s trunk. I stared boredly at Hisoka, who had obviously expected some other, probably faster reaction from me. I simply tugged the card out of its place and shoved it in my shirt pocket.

“I’ll be keeping that, thanks babes.” I joked at him, again rendering the examinees around me speechless as I openly sassed the magician. I wondered how long I could keep on being a little shit until I’d end up with a card sunk into my jugular. Most likely a little while longer, for Hisoka only winked at me playfully in response, as if this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence between us. Interesting…

“Now everyone, follow me!” I decided to stand right beside Hisoka, with Kurapika and Leorio behind me and Gon and Killua just ahead. I could feel the static tension around Hisoka gather, as well as a small group of men beginning to circle him. It was funny- they thought they had a chance at besting the magician. I heard the high pitch of Gon’s voice calling to Leorio as they had a small shouting match amongst the chaos. Weaving my body through the gaggle of angry men now crowding around Hisoka, I thought it better to remain on the fringes, but not too close to draw attention. I even stayed near them as we drifted from the group, the unnaturally thick fog causing us all to stray from the objective. The fog acted as a good cover as I realised we were approaching the clearing where the men would attempt to corner Hisoka. I picked up as much speed as my small legs would allow to sprint ahead to the designated spot, slowly scaling a tree to cover my presence. I hoped Hisoka’s bloodlust would mean he wouldn’t notice me watching the following exchanges, but I assumed that even if he did spot me that he wouldn’t care.

And that’s exactly what I did for the next hour or so – absolutely nothing but watch and wait. When Hisoka had slain the group of men in one fell swoop, I tried not to whistle in admiration. (It was much cooler to see it in person, okay?). Although the situation felt a hell of a lot creepier since I knew that Hisoka was thinking of Gon and Kurapika as unripened fruits as I stared at them, ick. Even when Hisoka straight out knocked Leorio into unconsciousness I remained in the trees, barely breathing as he hauled the guy over his shoulder. What was the point of me intervening anyway? It wasn’t like Gon, Leorio or Kurapika were in actual danger at this moment. If I’d known Hisoka was going to seriously injure them, I might’ve tried in vain to stop or stall the magician. I then snorted silently to myself – as if I could do anything to help them.  So I didn’t bother revealing myself as Gon sauntered away, trying to find his way back. I expected Hisoka to set off, having been given the directions to the Second Phase.

But he didn’t. Instead, he looked over his shoulder and stared right at where I was hiding, an amused, _predatory_ smile on his face.

“Oh Ray~ I think you should pay me back for the ride earlier.” He said, poisoning the words to make them sound incredibly lewd, as if I’d ridden his-

Let’s not think about that.   
  
I jumped from the tree, dusting myself off as I landed on the grass with a soft thump. I was wary as I remained at least a metre away from him, even though the sense of safety I got from the distance was definitely an illusion; I knew he could just slit my throat before I could even open my mouth. Scepticism was laden in my voice as I spoke.  
“What do you want?”  
  
“No need to be so suspicious, I just want to ask you a few questions.” He turned to face me, posture open as the corners of his lips still remained twitched into a smile.

“Sure, okay.” I was expecting it to be a lot worse, considering he was a pervert. Wait, this shouldn’t be so easy, there must be a catch to this…  
  
And that’s when the playfulness fell from his face, his mask of mischief completely dissolving. It was in that moment that I truly saw the cold-blooded killer in front of me, eager to rip my throat out at a moment’s notice.  
  
“Why are you impersonating Ray?”  
  
My heart seized in my chest, throat burning raw as the words hit my ears.

Fuck, _he knew._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, thank you all for the support so far! You guys are great!!
> 
> And Hisoka's figured out something was off already, don't underestimate the magician! How much trouble is Ray truly in?
> 
> I also promise the chapters will be longer after this - this seemed like a good place to stop it :P   
> ~Max


	3. Caught between a rock and a scary magician.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray realises the second phase isn't going to be as easy as the first, especially with Hisoka lurking...

“Why are you impersonating Ray?”

“I’m honestly not! It’s just that-“ I stopped myself mid-sentence. _It’s just that I was transported into a fictional world and have no idea what I’m doing here?_

Hisoka closed the distance between us, pressing a card into my neck. “Hm? Speak up.” A bead of cold sweat trailed down my cheek. He would know I was lying if I tried to fabricate something, what do I do?

“H-How did you know I wasn’t Ray?” I admitted in a meek voice, placing a small amount of curiosity in my tone. I knew Hisoka liked to play with his food before he killed it, maybe he’d humour me. I desperately needed every second I could buy…

A triumphant smirk lit his features as he used his free hand to count off the reasons, his long fingers extending languidly. “One, you haven’t used zetsu since you got here, and the real Ray wouldn’t miss a chance to practice his stealth against me. Two, Ray would not surrender his pride for a piggyback ride, even if it meant failing the Hunter Exam. Three, Ray loves to fight, and you’re just a coward.” He was now holding three fingers up, watching the colour drain from my face as he continued.  
  
“Four, whilst you mimic his feistiness _ever_ so well, you were obviously scared of me when we first spoke. No amount of acting could hide it. And finally, you wouldn’t be here without your brothers.” I stared at him blankly as he wiggled his fingers, impressed he managed to figure all of this out. He seemed to know Ra- _Me_ incredibly well, but the personality he described was nothing like mine. This Ray was bloodthirsty, whereas I wouldn’t hurt anyone here, even though I knew they were all fictional.

Shit, I hadn’t thought of a plan.

I’d been mesmerised by the way his supple fingers had raised as he numbered his deductions, how his gold eyes held mine in their intense gaze, heat blossoming in my chest. I could’ve sworn he was undressing me with those eyes, stripping down to my very core and exposing the imposter that I was, ready to strike at any second. I dry swallowed, feeling the razor sharp edge of the card nick my skin as my throat bobbed.

“To tell you the truth,” I began numbly, my voice coming out thick yet raspy. “I woke up in the elevator to the Exam with no idea who I was. All I know is that I am called Ray and I need to pass this exam at any cost.” I spoke slowly, admitting as much as I could without endangering myself too much. Ever since I had arrived, I’d had the hollowing, oddly fatalistic sensation in my stomach which spurred my survival instincts into overdrive. It told me that failing this exam would be signing my death warrant. I hadn’t had the time to dwell on the feeling until now, as Hisoka took a small step back to consider my words.

“You’re hiding something from me, but you aren’t lying…” He placed his hands on his hips, lowering the deadly card and cocking his head to one side as he evaluated me. “Do you honestly have no memories of who you were? Of _Us?”_ A sly smile drew across his lips as the words practically dripped off his tongue. Rose instantly flushed my cheeks: I knew exactly what he was implying.

“N-no I don’t!... did we? –I mean, d-did we, you know…?” I was totally mortified as his tongue darted out to wet his lips, an unmistakable lust clouding his honey coloured eyes.

“You’re so easy to fluster, it’s so exciting~” He cooed, and I resisted the urge to slap myself. Of course he was fucking with me, that’s what Hisoka did.

“Asshole.” I muttered at him, sticking my lip out in a childish pout. He used his hand to cover his mouth, body quivering with laughter.

“I do believe you’re Ray, at heart.” He finally said after seeing my immature gestures. “You seem to have amnesia, but I was wrong before: you’re definitely Ray.” I blinked at him, confused at the sudden change of tone. I guessed some of my actions reminded him of the Ray in this world? I resisted the urge to roll my shoulders in a bewildered shrug.

“I could fill you in on some of your memories, since we spent a lot of time in each other’s company…” I would’ve agreed, had he not been staring at me as if I was naked, a perverted grin stretched across his lips. “But it’ll come as a price~” his voice dropped an octave as I suppressed a shiver at his sultry tone. I simply could not comprehend how Hisoka managed to be incredibly seductive yet terrifying at the same time. I had to give him credit: he had the aesthetic down to a polished point.

I shook my head in refusal, disappointment tugging at his features. “A shame… I guess it’s time for my other payment then~”

“Wh-!?” The start of my question was silenced as my whole body pounded on impact with something hard behind me, breath forced out of my lungs. But it wasn’t the fact that I’d been shoved into a tree that had my attention, it was the fact that _Hisoka was kissing me._

And he wasn’t exactly being gentle either. Flashes of pain shot up my sides as firm hands gripped into my waist, digging into the soft flesh. He’d used my confusion to expertly manoeuvre his tongue into my mouth, massaging my lips with his. Everything about it felt sinfully good, mind fully aware that I was indulging in something I shouldn’t. He pressed his strong body against mine, demanding I yield to his domineering touch, but I refused to become weak-kneed at his skilful movements. However, this didn’t mean I wasn’t enjoying the effort. Because damn, he was _good._

So I bit down on his lower lip – hard. I was sure it had been enough to draw blood, to make the magician back off, but instead he smirked into the kiss, delving deeper and feeling the coppery taste of blood settling on my tongue as he refused to halt. Sighing internally, I tapped on his shoulders weakly ( _since when were my arms wrapped around him?)_ and he took an easy step back, eyes travelling up and down at my flustered appearance. I was sure I would’ve been beet red if it wasn’t the fact I was kinda pissed off.

“That was rude, taking advantage of an amnesiac.” I muttered at him, shoving my hands in my short pockets and letting out a huff. I seemed relatively composed, considering I’d just had a serial killer try and suck my face. I guess being pulled into a fictional universe really changes you. I tried my best not to snigger at myself.

“It’s not often I see you with such a vulnerable, lost look. I just had to~” He drawled, holding my stare with one of his own before something beeped in his pocket. He spoke quickly, almost barking his response as he hauled the unconscious Leorio over his shoulder. Starting to walk away, his strides were purposeful until he peeked over his shoulder at me, gesturing for me to follow.

“I’ll help you get to the second phase site, but nothing more. It’ll be more fun to see you figure yourself out on your own.” He mused to himself, causing my forehead to crease into a frown. Of course he wouldn’t help me, I didn’t expect anything else from him.

“You won’t even give me a hint?” I mock pouted, batting my eyelids at him. He shrugged, Leorio’s body shaking on his shoulder as he manhandled the guy. The wannabe doctor was going to feel awful after this, eek.

“You should use your hands more often, but I cannot say anything more. You’re not mine to play with.” He said with what seemed to be sadness and disappointment in his tone. Wait, what? I wasn’t his to play with? Did this mean I was under the watch of someone else? Just great…

Hisoka didn’t open his mouth again after his comment, and I reluctantly trudged behind him to the exam site. Although I didn’t want to look like I was stalking Hisoka to the other examinees, it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I’d rather appear as Hisoka’s boy toy – or something worse- to other people than get lost and eaten in the Wetlands. When I saw the walled area that would host the next exam and the gaggle of people gathered around it, I broke into a sprint. I would at least try and seem like I’d done something by myself.

Breathing heavily, I sagged against the tree as I allowed myself to finally relax my muscles for a precious few seconds. The only thing I knew that was happening next was that Gon would arrive with Kurapika, and then the next phase would begin.   


I barely noticed when Hanzo slid down next to me, holding his wrapped wrists close to him as he clearly stared at me, brows furrowing as he considered my appearance. The beginnings of recognition began to form in his eyes before he even spoke to me. I tried not to groan – do I not get a damn minute where people don’t bombard me with questions?

“I know you.” He stated flatly, but there was an undeniable curiosity to his voice as he leaned even closer, inspecting my face. I was relieved that one of my blue eyes was covered by my fringe, disguising some of my blatant annoyance.

“Sure you do, I’ve been taking this exam too.” I said boredly, picking at my fingernails and trying to ignore his excessive scrutinisation. Had this guy ever heard of personal space?  
  
“That’s not what I meant. I know you from outside the exam, don’t I?” He insisted.

“Nope.” I saw his face fall slightly, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough to deter him. He grabbed my shoulders, tightening his palms around them.

“No, I definitely do!” I scowled at him now, resisting the urge to spit at him.

“Listen, I know you’re strong, but if you keep your hands on my shoulders I will make sure they’re the last thing they ever touch.” I had the hunch that if Hanzo knew me, it was because he knew me as some sort of monster, or at least as a minor threat to him. My instinct was right, as he blanched a little, familiarity filling his features.

“S-Sorry.” He muttered, unlike the proud ninja. “I remember now, nice to see you again.” He said, recovering from his stutter and waving at me casually as he sauntered away, completely composed.

_What the fuck was that about?_

Trying not to scream, I wandered into the next area, eyeing the cooking stations warily. I’d almost forgotten about this part of the exam. Time for me to fail with everyone else, right? Well, I’d have to kill a pig first, but what was the point if it wasn’t going to please Menchi anyway?

And it was with that thought that I simply sat on the bench they’d provided us behind my oven, twiddling my thumbs and watching everyone else run into the forest. When the exam area was completely abandoned, the green-haired Hunter was talking rather loudly to Buhara, until he caught my eye. He stared at me confused.

“Aren’t you going to get me some pork? I’m starving!” He whined, and I simply gave them a tight-lipped smile.

“I can see in Menchi’s eyes that nothing I cook will be delicious enough for me to pass. Call it an instinct if you like, but I can also see the same happening to the rest of the examinees. I thought I’d just wait it out and get to know you two better.” I stuck my thumbs out at them in approval. “I personally think Gourmet Hunters are really brave, and I’m not just saying that to butter you up; I already know I’ve failed.” Mechi stared at me, shock crossing her features as she regarded me carefully, almost with suspicion. But Buhara was laughing, rubbing the back of his head with his huge palm.

“Gee Menchi, he has you all figured out!” She huffed, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms.   
  
“He’s right, though. It’ll take a lot to impress me, but hat doesn’t mean you should’ve given up, Kid. What kind of Hunter doesn’t even try?” She had a point, but I didn’t let it faze me. I wasn’t giving up, I was just waiting for the next phase and didn’t see the point in wasting my time catching a pig she wouldn’t eat.

I still smiled at the pair, hearing the low thunder of footsteps heading in our direction; the other examinees must’ve been coming back already. “I haven’t given up, I’ll prove myself soon enough.”   
  
She glared at me, still bewildered. Menchi was obviously considering what sort of game or plan I had in mind, and couldn’t work out why an examinee would act so arrogant when they were obviously going to fail.

Shrugging it off, she watched as the others began cooking their pigs. I felt eyes burning into the back of my head and sure enough, Hisoka had taken the station behind me, also confused at my lack of effort. I simply winked at him, placing my hands on my lap smugly and refusing to move another inch. Everything about my demeanour screamed _I know something you don’t._ I tried not to snicker at the dark, borderline murderous scowl I received in response.

And just as expected, everyone failed. Menchi couldn’t help but spare a glance at me as she explained this fact, silently admitting that I had been right before she’d even made her mind up. Since that challenge didn’t count for anything, she couldn’t disqualify for lack of trying either. I felt pretty fucking proud of myself as we arrived at Mt. Split-In-Half, but that soon faded as I realised what was going to happen now, replacing my pride with a deep and inescapable sense of fear.

We would all jump onto a spider web which would be a millisecond away from snapping completely - And that wasn’t including my weight. It could be possible that if I went with everyone else, I would be consigning us all to our certain death. It was lucky that Gon, Kurapika, Killua and Leorio had made it out alive in the first place. I could go afterwards, but what if all the eggs were gone by then, or all the threads holding them up snapped? I wouldn’t get a chance to complete the phase.

Unless…

I cut Menchi’s explanation short, just as her toes curled over the edge, limbs poised and ready to jump. She had to physically stop herself wobbling as I piped up in an innocent voice.

“Mind if I show them instead? I’ll even grab an extra egg for you!” I was already strolling over to the cliff’s edge, as if I wasn’t about to leap eagerly to my death. Who knows, I could have the grip strength of a titan and I’d be totally fine. Besides, this was the only option besides failure; I didn't need any more time to work that out. 

The other examinees stared at me with expressions that were either horrified, confused or delighted. Clearly they all thought I was going to die too. Does nobody have faith in me around here? I wasn’t _that_ weak looking…

And with a surprised nod from Menchi, I didn’t think twice as my feet lost contact with the earth. 

I jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and Honey for the lovely comment!
> 
> Now I've skipped through the bit that I didn't particularly want to write about, I can finally get to the juicy bits about Ray and his discovery of himself during the Hunter Exam! Expect things to get more interesting (and steamy) from here...
> 
> ~Max


	4. Two together in Trick Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray experiences the joys of Trick Tower.

“Ray-Mmph, I can’t believe you did that!” Gon mumbled through chews, humming in delight at the heavenly taste that came from the eggs. I didn’t blame him – when I’d began cooking mine my stomach automatically purred into life. But it had taken most of my resolve to simply let go of the spider web when I’d reached the location of the eggs. Despite me knowing there was a breeze at the time, and that it was as easy as being carried back up to the top of the mountain, I still clung to the web for dear life. It went against my every instinct to literally take the plunge; but I’d done it.

“Yes, I’m very impressed Ray, how did you know what to do?” Kurapika eyed me as he carefully nibbled at his food, his expression an equal measure of awe and suspicion. I laughed at the group lightly, shrugging my shoulders as if I hadn’t almost been crippled by fear.  
“I’ve done stuff like this before, no biggie.” Leorio stared at me wide-eyed, a muffled “EHHH?” falling from his lips, along with a mouthful of food and spilling onto the floor. Gross.

“Wow! You’re so cool!” Gon said in his usual high-pitched and excited tone. I smiled back at him, turning my attention to the huge airship that was readying to take off with the applicants who’d had the balls to grab a dream egg.

And yes, there is a time skip here. Why? Becsause well, nothing interesting happened whilst I was on the airship. Nobody tried to corner me, mock me or kill me. I had a funny feeling this was the only respite I’d get from here on out. After all, I’d somehow made it to the third phase purely from piggybacking off Hisoka and using my knowledge of what was going to come. And I bet it’d be far too convenient for me to end up in a group of 5 in Trick Tower with Gon and his friends. I’d have to go through the tower alone with no idea what was going to happen. This was enough to make me swear multiple times before I decided to finally sleep, in a room as far away from the other applicants as possible.

* * *

 

I was right: Trick Tower was hell.

Not only had I watched the four people who I vaguely consider friends disappear in front of me – along with my chances of an easy ride through this phase- I’d also found a trapdoor that lowered into a room the size of a box. There was absolutely nothing in this brick room apart from a candle which cast a dim view of the area. It shone light on a small plaque, which only read:  
  
_Two Together; memories unveil._

Great. I was stuck here waiting for someone? It wasn’t going to be Hisoka (sadly), if I was going off what happened in the anime. So I guess anyone could fall down this hole next to me.

I whistled a soft tune, sliding my back against one of the walls and groaning internally. This was going to be so god damn boring. But luckily for me, I didn’t have to stay still for long. It was with a clack and a mechanic jerk that a robotic figure came tumbling through the second opening. The person dusted themselves off in erratic movements, assessing their surroundings before their eyes settled on mine. If his eyes could widen in surprise, they would’ve.

“Yo, Illumi.” I cheerily called out to the pin-clad man, smirking as he tried to glower at me. I didn’t know if the Ray before me was aware of Gittarackur’s true identity, so I thought I’d out him anyway. It’d save me from any future fuck ups. With that, the assassin pulled the pins out of his face, morphing back into his normal figure. Damn, he really did have such long hair…

“Ray, I thought you’d be with my little brother. You seem rather fond of him already.” His dark orbs held plenty of malice as he towered over me. Considering I hadn’t bothered to stand up, I simply looked up at him with no fear whatsoever.

“Nah, you’re the cuter one.” I said off-handedly, trying to get a rise out of the older Zoldyck. Unfortunately, he didn’t even stir at my comment, simply moving onto the topic of the plaque.

“Looks like we’re completing the tower together. Don’t get yourself killed; I don’t want to retake this exam because of your failure.” I jumped to my feet, following behind him as the walls finally parted to reveal a long and narrow path. It seemingly had no end in sight, the route descending into darkness the further I tried to look.

“Who says I’d be the one that gets us to fail? Asshole…” I muttered, beginning to walk in front of him to wander down the ominous path. However, his hand on my shoulder stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Hisoka told me about your amnesia, I could fix that for you.” He offered rather bluntly, in which I violently shook my head. No way did I want Illumi fucking with my brain and shoving needles into my body. I was more than eager to tell him this as his face fell slightly in disappointment.

“That’s a shame. I could’ve done with you being indebted to me.” He murmured, more to himself. I’m pretty sure a vein was bulging out of my head at this point.

“Well you can go fu-“ I stopped mid-sentence as my whole body was slammed into a wall, hard. For a moment I thought Illumi had gotten mad with me and thrown me out of his path, but no. I was bunched up against an invisible wall, which seemed to have no texture to it apart from being completely unyielding under my weight. How were we supposed to get past this?

“Boring!” Illumi declared, throwing his razor-like needles at the obstacle. Instead of shredding whatever material this barrier was made of, they simply sailed right through it and rolled off the edge into what I assumed was a large chasm. He cursed for losing some of his precious ammo. I scratched my head, staring blankly at Illumi as he glared back at me impatiently.

“Go on then, try using Banshee.” I blinked at him, questions written all over my features as he tried not to groan in frustration. I was costing him time.

“You’ve forgotten nen as well? That explains a lot, your aura is a mess.” I tried not to scowl at him as I wondered how the hell I was going to break the wall in front of us. What even was Banshee? What was I meant to be doing?

I felt the warm, pricking sensation of metal against my skin as Illumi darted forwards, snaring me in his grip and placing a needle against my neck. Shit, he was actually threatening me? I could feel his dark aura swarm over me in pure hatred and disgust as he pressed the needle further, coating it in my blood.

“If you can’t use Banshee to break this wall on your own, I’ll alter your memories until you can and make you my slave.” He hissed, clearly angered by his reliance on me in this moment and my need to gather my nen together. I remembered what Wing said to Gon and Killua about imagining and taming your aura, but it was an entirely different thing to actually try it. I swore, and he began to count down.

**“Three…”**

I felt an energy enveloping my skin, and I realised it was my own. Good, I was aware of it, but couldn’t quite harness it yet, there was still hope.

**“Two….”**

Sweat beaded down my cheeks as I tried to mentally reach for it, capture it before it wisped away from my body. It was moving too fast, how was I supposed to gather this? This is so difficult!

**“One…”**

I was almost out of time, I was fucked. I was _so fucked_ , there was no way I could simply master nen in a matter of seconds and destroy the barrier in front of me. I’d gotten too arrogant from my previous successes and I’d forgotten that I was just a normal fucking teenager. I had no power of my own, and my aura was dwindling faster than I could monitor it. I’d opened my aura nodes, but nothing more. I didn’t have enough time.

**“Time’s up.”**

As the needle buried itself into my neck, I screamed.

I screamed in frustration, in despair as I knew that this moment would be my last as a conscious being. My knowledge of future events had been useless, and I was just useless. Normal people weren’t cut out for this exam; I’d never had a chance. As soon as I’d found myself in the elevator, I should’ve ran somewhere, _anywhere_ that wasn’t here and taking this god-forsaken exam. And worst of all, I hadn’t even made it to the interesting part of the exam.

So I screamed, I cried and yelled with all the force my voice could muster. The scratching of the needle was carving the skin on my neck, pulses of agony shooting through my veins as Illumi dug at my jugular.

But then the wall shattered.

Like glass, the barrier splintered into shards, littering the floor around my feet and nestling into my black hair. It just suddenly collapsed, as if all the force behind it had been completely quashed.

Had I…. done that?

I didn’t feel any different as the needle was removed from my skin, and I immediately held a hand to my neck to stop the bleeding. The wound was small, attacking a very specific point on my body, but it still fucking hurt.

“Fascinating!” He clapped his hands together after cleaning his needle and shoving it back into his shirt. “Your body still remembers nen. I thought extreme duress would bring it out in you.”

“Bullshit.” I spat, wanting to fucking pummel the guy in front of me. Knowing me, I’d end up breaking both of my hands before I even made him feel a ghost of pain. “You were going to kill me, don’t try and lie to me.”

A small chortle escaped Illumi’s thin lips as he neatly stepped over the fragments of glass. “You’re right.” I flipped the bird at his back as I reluctantly followed.

“If you ever try and kill me again, I’ll use my other abilities to cripple you.” I warned, glowering at the taller man’s back, whose body only responded in an amused quiver.

“You don’t even know what they are.” He countered flatly.

“I have an inkling.” I shrugged even though he couldn’t see it. After all, I was telling the truth- Banshee gave me many hints on what my other abilities would be like. I wasn’t 100% certain what they were yet, but I knew I’d find out soon enough. My memories of nen were just sitting underneath the surface now…

He didn’t dignify my comment with a response, gliding ahead now. My body felt oddly warm, soothed by the strangely familiar presence that seemed glued to my skin, bending and warping to my movements in an eternal dance. Could I really feel nen now?

“Keep up.” Illumi barked, ripping me out of my thoughts and sending me running after the assassin.

If I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I was so wrong.

* * *

 

After what seemed like forever, with me panting and wheezing horridly when we finally came to a stop, we were met with two prisoners of the tower. They were instructed to stop us by any means necessary, and any delays they caused would reduce their sentences. Their only limit was that they could not attack us simultaneously; this would be a duel.

Illumi rolled his eyes in boredom, simply walking forwards and ripping one of the prisoner’s hearts out and throwing it into the hands of the other. A horrified gape formed on the prisoner’s features, expecting his impending demise as I turned to face him.

“Y-You-“I began, still trying to catch my breath. “Can surrender now… or die.” He didn’t seem to take my threat seriously, despite the fact he was still holding his comrade’s heart in his hands, the blood dribbling down his arms. A snort came out of his lips.

“You’re just a kid! I could overpower you using just one fist.” Dropping the heart with a small _squelch,_ he howled with laughter. I raised a bored eyebrow at him, making eye contact with Illumi who was standing behind the man.

He didn’t need another moment to move.

I felt my aura surge around me, heeding eagerly to my call. My fingers trembled as surges and jolts of power gathered in my fingertips. My forgotten muscles were keen to be flexed again as I wondered if I didn’t need my mouth to use banshee. After all, I was emitting my aura into sound pulses, and my mouth was only one potential medium. The energy could barely be contained as it grew white hot in my palms, threatening to strip and sear the skin from my muscles. It felt so raw and potent that I could barely target it in the prisoner’s direction.

I let it go.

It was like the man was assaulted by the air in multiple directions, his body crumpling at the impact and dense pressure of the sound waves. His face contorted for a brief second as he staggered back, but he did not collapse. Blood trickled out of his lips, and I couldn’t help but stare as it beaded gently down his chin, staining his white vest. His mouth parted into a yellowed grin.

“Is that it? Think I’ll fall over with some air, kid?”

My stomach pitted as he took a step towards me, realising my banshee had done no obvious damage apart from a little bleeding. I braced my arms into an X in front of me, planning to defend my head and neck as he closed the distance between us. But as he reached to grab my shirt, his body jarred, puckering at the waist. Spouts of crimson foamed at his lips as his eyes strained to meet mine. They were beady, bloodshot, barely contained in their sockets as they bulged. The expose to the pressure had crippled him from inside out. He missed me by inches as he collapsed forward, raspy gurgles filling the room. I could hear his chest heave in desperation.

“So the exposure to the dense sound waves caused his body to buckle on itself, as if it tried to adapt to the sudden pressure change, resulting in his major arteries bursting. That wa-“ I barely caught sight of Illumi’s body covered in _ken_ as his silhouette blurred at the edges. My eyes were fixated on the sparks of life that were dulling in the man’s irises, whilst the surprise remained frozen on his features. I couldn’t help but reach out, feeling the cooling, sticky blood coating my fingers as I touched it to my lips. It caused my heart to skip in an unusual way, stirring my chest as butterflies woke and fluttered in my body. Tingles of excitement sped up my spine and I couldn’t resist a small shudder.

And it definitely wasn’t out of guilt.

An overwhelming force of exhaustion ploughed into me as my body curled over beside the fresh corpse, spiralling unconsciousness dragging me away from the fragments of pride I felt about my victory. Dammit, I'd finally stood up for myself and I was already going to pass out. Strong arms secured me as my vision faded, and I swore I heard the faintest whisper reach my ears before I was robbed of my consciousness.

“ _I’ll definitely keep you…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm super impatient to get onto the fourth phase, so i apologise for the time skip. But it's all for a good reason!  
> And Thank you all so much for your comments! (Especially HoneyXHunter, you inspire me :) )  
> Hope you're liking the story so far!  
> ~Max


	5. Questionable Alliances

“Contestant #301, Gittarackur, is second to pass the third phase. Contest #62, Ray, is third to pass the third phase.”

I blinked blearily as Illumi unceremoniously dumped me onto the floor. My joints creaked, dull aches tremoring through my body. Looking up, I watched him wander over to Hisoka, sitting beside him and entering a clearly heated discussion. Sometime between me passing out and now, Illumi had replaced his disguise, body clicking as he hunched over the other man. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy as they continued their hushed and fervent whispering.

I peeked over at Hanzo as he confidently strode in, face beaming until he realised that three of us were already here. I decided to go and chat to him, which caused the incessant buzz of whispers to increase. He raised a curious brow as I stood beside him, hands shoved in my pockets.

“You made it here so fast on your own, I’m impressed.” I said coolly, a proud smile lighting up his features.

“I’m ashamed I didn’t beat you or #44 to the finish line, but this was no challenge for me!” He then acknowledged what I said, frowning.

“Wait, you didn’t do this alone? Were you with Hisoka this entire time?” He pouted, clearly questioning the fairness of the phase. But I was more than eager to correct him in the fact that no, I didn’t get another free ticket from Hisoka.

I jabbed my thumb at the robotic figure. “I was with him, actually. He’s a creepy pain in the ass.” Hanzo laughed rather obviously, causing the other pair to cease their muttering and stare openly at us. I was a bit annoyed he’d been so loud, considering what I said wasn’t that funny…

“I’ve missed hanging out with you Ray!” He heartily slapped me on the back, much to the chagrin of myself as well as the two mentally shooting daggers at us. I smiled back the ninja however, slightly confused.

“Say, how about we stay together for the next phase?” I blinked, actually considering the offer. I still couldn’t comprehend why he was being so nice to me, or how he actually knew me. But it couldn’t hurt to team up with someone as strong as he was? He didn’t seem like the type to set up traps or to knowingly deceive people. He was a ninja, but he was definitely an honest person – that much I could gather from his character.

The only problem would be if I was unlucky enough to pick his tag in the fourth phase, and in that case I would assume all bets and alliances were off.

“Sure, but there’s something you should know.” He cocked his head to one side, interested.

“I…”I began, actually unsure how to admit my amnesia to someone who wasn’t threatening me. “I’m a different person to who you think I am.” I said vaguely, a frown creasing his forehead. Considering the truly soul-chilling glare I was receiving from Hisoka, and how the whole room seemed to drop to freezing temperatures, I suddenly thought that it might be better to keep my mouth shut until I could trust someone. After all, Hanzo was a blabbermouth about his own secrets, why would he keep mine?

He looked clearly confused, expecting me to elaborate. When I remained silent, he responded with an uneasy “Okay then…. That doesn’t bother me!” However, he didn’t sound so sure. I had no choice to shrug it off, knowing I needed all the companions I could get for the next phase. I wasn’t as strong as the others, I’d have to play this extremely carefully.

I fell into a contemplative silence, achingly curious about why the hell Illumi and Hisoka were _still_ talking about me as they sent overt glances in my direction. What were they, schoolkids? They sure knew how to rile me up.

“Let’s have a competition Hanzo, it’ll pass the time!” His eyes sparked to life, excitement filling his features. I took his eagerness as a sign to continue.

“I probably won’t win, but let’s do a press-up challenge. Whoever gives up first has to grab the other one food! Consider it training.” He snorted, gracefully dropping to the floor in a press up position as he looked up at me.

“Please, Ray. You know I can do this in my sleep! But I’ll happily kick your ass.” I laughed a little, bending my small frame into the same position, taking a moment to clip my fringe back.

I was doing this for fun, but it served another purpose too.

I slowly exhaled, my aura rousing as it deftly coated my arms and chest only, directing all of my strength into these spots as I made a signal to begin.

Hanzo was lightning quick, efficient with every stroke and push of his muscles. I couldn’t help but lick my lips at the pure determination on his face. He wasn’t even faltering, yum.

I steeled myself to my own task, pushing my body weight like pebbles as it cleanly touched the floor before rising with ease again. I soon settled into a rhythm, refining my aura so it was less directed at my hands and more to my chest. If I had to gauge the distribution of aura, I’d say 80% of my energy was being channelled into my torso, keeping my breathing steady.

“We’ll be doing this for hours, Ray.” He reminded me, keeping his head up and speaking to me at the same time. That must’ve taken a lot of strength.

“I am aware.” I grinned back, unable to meet his gaze as I was focusing on maintaining my aura. It wasn’t the press-ups themselves that were hard, it was the concentration I needed for my nen, sweat beginning to bead on my forehead as I estimated about 20 minutes had passed. Hanzo was showing no signs of fatigue.

We remained silent for the next 40 minutes, before my ren finally stuttered, leaving open patches on my body where my aura was bleeding out. All my strength seemed to leave me with the tiniest putter as I narrowly avoided face-planting the floor. My arms were spasming, unable to bear my weight anymore. I used the rest of my energy to block the flow of my aura, plugging the gaping holes exposing me to the cold air. It felt weird not to have a coating around my skin.

Hearing me flop, Hanzo swiftly jumped to his feet again, dusting himself off. He didn’t even look fazed.

“You lasted longer than the last time we did this, but you still got nothing on me!” He jabbed a thumb at himself, triumph oozing off his features. My whole body trembled as I staggered to my feet, trying to compose myself. I smirked at him, half-bitter but awed at his endurance.

“I know, I know. What food do ya want?” I wandered over to the food cart, trying to ignore the bright spots dancing in the corner of my vision. The sudden headrush was almost enough to send me toppling to the floor again. But at least by this point, the gossip had stopped and I simply grabbed something to eat for Hanzo and myself.

This was our little ritual whilst we waited for the exam to end. I even stared at the wall that Gon and his friends would appear through when the counter came down to the final minute, grinning with delight as they tumbled through.

“Told you they’d make it.” I murmured to Hanzo, who just stared at me with shock, clearly annoyed he’d predicted wrong.

“Aw yay! Ray made it too!” Thin arms wrapped around my waist as a gasp was forced from my body, peering down and realising I was encompassed into a hug. I teasingly wrinkled my nose down at the boy.

“Of course I did, silly. I’m stronger than I look.” I offered with a smile, in which Hanzo snorted not-so-quietly at my comment. Gon’s eyes sparked to life as he began to tell me how he’d made it through Trick Tower.

I really tried my best not to look bored, and I widened my eyes at the dramatic points and asked incredulous questions like “Wow! Really?” “And then what?” whilst trying to be as believable as possible. It was pretty dull to hear about something you’d already seen before. I listened to him blabber as we all slowly plodded outside, seeing Lippo with what I had already named the box of death.

When the hunter with the Mohawk finally finished his arduous explanation, I waited for Illumi to pick his number before casually wandering over to the box. A small beep came as I fumbled around in the box, deciding to take my time. I could hear people tutting behind me as I considered that this damn box could jeopardise my success. What if I managed to pick a main character’s card, changing the storyline from here on out? I would be well and truly fucked. As for the side characters – well, most of them were going to die anyway so I didn’t care if I got them. Although I’d be watched this entire phase, if I could corner someone I could just expose them to banshee without pissing any of the examiners off for revealing nen too early. I didn’t have the luxury of superior combat skills like Hisoka and Illumi anyway; this is how I’d have to do it.

As soon as I gripped onto one near the bottom of the box, I jumped back into a corner and eagerly ripped off the red covering. I’d already pinned my tag on the inside of my vest, just to make it more awkward for others to try and grab it from me.

“Hey! I didn’t say you could do anything with the cards yet!” Lippo shouted at me in indignation, but I just shrugged my shoulders at him.

“You never said we couldn’t.”

He had no retort for that.

A wave of relief crashed over me as I saw whose number I got: #118.  
It wasn’t anyone who instantly rang a bell, so that must’ve been a good thing. I realised it was even better when the dude with the monkey was still wearing the very tag I was tasked to seize. He’d get caught out by Kurapika and Leorio and tied up. All I’d have to do is snatch the guy’s tag or simply ask the pair for it before sneaking off again. Maybe I could do an Illumi and just hide myself in a dirt hole for the rest of the week.

I mentally slapped myself. That wouldn’t work – they’ll use his tag as a bargaining chip against Hisoka. The fact that Hisoka needs it to pass is going to be a huge thorn in my side. Guess I’ll have to change the chain of events before they can actually happen.

But how?

I groaned quietly as we all boarded the boat, choosing to sit by myself and hide my head between my knees as I thought. I had the amazing gift of foresight right now, I couldn’t waste this opportunity to get me through this exam. As long as things go as I expect them to, I could get away with getting my target’s tag and still ensure Hisoka didn’t kill the protagonists. Although their lives currently didn’t matter to me much – I needed events to go as planned so I could also survive the final phase and get a licence without having to fight. The gut churning instinct that compelled me to do nothing but succeed was still a very formidable presence in my mind. Something told me that if I don’t pass, I’ll die here. And I hadn’t got to the fun bits of the story yet, as much fun as being sucked into a deadly universe could be anyway.

A plan formed in my mind, and I hoped to hell that it would work. I was kind of disappointed that it wouldn’t involve Hanzo for now, but I didn’t exactly have any other ideas.

* * *

 

“Kurapika.” I said softly, the gentle rustle of leaves alerting him to my presence about a millisecond before I announced myself. He whipped around, a taut smile forming on his features as he realised he’d been followed this entire time. I raised my small hands in surrender, offering him a light-hearted grin.

“Don’t worry, if you were my target I would’ve taken your tag by now, but I do have an idea that could help us both.”  
  
Kurapika had jumped backwards, adopting a defensive position as he wielded his bokken protectively in front of them. Only lowering them slightly, he seemed to regard me with a wariness that I didn’t see in the first phase. Wow, he really didn’t trust me. I guess I couldn’t blame him after I got a piggyback from Hisoka.  
  
“What is it?” Was all he asked, still remaining somewhat crouched, suspicious. I emptied out my pocket to show that I only had a phone on me as I took a step closer, hands constantly on show.  
  
“You’ve probably realised by now that it’s better to work with allies in this phase. I swear to you that I mean no harm, I just want to become a hunter like you.” I tried to persuade him using only the truth, using my small stature to appear less threatening. Everything depended on Kurapika warming up to me.

“Then why not approach Gon? He’s fonder of you than I am.” My face scrunched up in mock offence, holding a hand to my heart in phantom pain. I pouted as I spoke.

“Because Kurapika, you are the only one who can help me, and vice versa.” I tapped my head with my other hand, still having a genuinely kind smile on my face. “You see, I’m clairvoyant.”

I let the statement hang casually in the air as I saw a flash of scarlet in the shocked eyes in front of me, filling first with disbelief, confusion, before realisation flooded his intelligent features. Kurapika was more than clever enough to put the pieces together when I laid them out so cleanly.

“Is that how you knew our names? I thought it was impossible that you could’ve heard Gon and Killua’s conversation from such a distance.” I nodded.

“Was is the same with Mt. Split-In-Half?” Again, I nodded, a flush tinting my cheeks.

“Guilty.” I admitted, laughing a little. I saw Kurapika’s shoulder unconsciously relax at my open posture.  
  
“It also means that I know that Tonpa is your target, and who he’s allied with.” My eyes then widened with innocent surprise, flicking my wrist to check my watch. Good, right on cue.

“Oops, we’re cutting it a bit thin if we want to save Leorio.” His bokken clashed to the floor as he rushed forward, gripping me with one hand under my shirt. I’d barely had time to notice the sudden rage and fear that clouded his expression, the boy practically snarling as his fingers curled tighter around the fabric of my vest. Eesh, if he was any stronger I’d be forced to go topless for the rest of this phase – my clothing wasn’t particularly sturdy.

“Where is he?” He demanded, but I remained composed, acting as if being threatened was an everyday nuisance for me. I seemed unflappable as I spoke.

“I’ll tell you where he is on one condition.” I held his gaze as his intensified, the beginning of murderous fury flowering in the pure eyes of his. I couldn’t help but be entranced at such a transformation – these people were more complex than I thought.

But on the other hand, I didn’t need to know the future to read Kurapika like a book.

“Anything.” He breathed, his grip softening as he let me down, eyes returning to their normal hue. He almost looked embarrassed as he walked back to his weapons, carefully stowing them back in his robes. He knew he’d lost his composure. I didn’t let it bother me as I spoke.

“The tag of Tonpa’s ally: Sommy. If you promise to hand it to me, I will ensure you and Leorio are safe from their tricks.” Kurapika nodded eagerly, realising that every second we wasted on this bargain would only be to his detriment.

“It’s a deal.” As soon as the words left his lips, I dashed off in Leorio’s direction, expecting the Kurta to follow.

* * *

 

“Don’t even think about it, monkey boy.” I’d managed to apprehend Sommy and his ugly pet before they reached Leorio’s briefcase. I grabbed the guilty creature in question, trying not to cringe as I held it by the scruff of his neck. I didn’t want to hurt animals, but I’d need the front for this to work. Kurapika had dashed to Leorio’s side protectively, much to the obvious frustration of the older man. Sommy seemed confused, motionless as he was torn between his initial objective of Leorio’s tag and his prized familiar.

“Now fellas, this can still be an amicable exchange. Allow me to have your tags, and I won’t kill your companion.” I said casually as my fingers dug into the animal, its whine echoing off the trees around us.

“You bastard!” Sommy rushed towards me, and I darted back with a frown on my face. I tutted as everyone else stared at our exchange, the two teens showing shock at my savage façade. Whatever, this had to be done. It was an act, after all.

“I wouldn’t do that If I were you, you might make me mad.” I began lightly, an innocent smile on my face as I continued. “Then I’d have to kill both of you.” My voice was disturbingly nonchalant as Sommy blanched, his monkey sweating in my grip. This was surprisingly easy, like slipping into a second skin as I felt myself ooze murderous intent. I was assuming they couldn’t tell the difference between me being serious and bluffing. And even if they could, they wouldn’t dare take the risk when I was playing with their lives.

“You wouldn’t kill us, you’re just a kid. I’m outta here Sommy, you’re on your own.” Tonpa shrugged, having the audacity to turn his back on me. Genuine anger bubbled under my skin. What position did he think he was in? I wasn’t finished with the bastard yet – Kurapika needed his tag. Whilst not essential for our deal, it would stop any complications.

“Shall I be taking your tag from your corpse then?” I asked calmly, feeling my anger seeping out of my skin, trailing and snaking towards the old man. Tendrils of my vexation shrouded his large body, eager to cripple the mesh of nerves and stupidity in front of me. It would feel so good to suffocate the arrogance out of his aged body, to see his shoulders hunch and crumple under the sheer force of my will.  
  
 It would only be fitting to crush the Rookie Crusher.  
  
The instinct to just let go, to pull the trigger and siphon the life out of him was deliciously unbearable, and I could feel my fingers flexing and jerking at the thought, the monkey’s screeches intensifying. How I wanted to hear the very same helpless noises from his disgusting lips.

“Ray, don’t. This wasn’t part of our deal…” Kurapika began, eyeing me nervously as blood trickled down my fingers. I could barely feel the liquid, briefly forgetting I was holding a hostage.

“He’s right, Ray. We can just take his tag now, he’s outnumbered.” Leorio agreed, the glint of his knife catching my eye as I realised the Doctor was now armed. Had I given it another moment, I could’ve rationalised that they could ambush Tonpa whilst I held onto the monkey, effectively immobilising Sommy as they took the tags. But I couldn’t find the will to care, still directing all of my murderous intent at Tonpa. I could see his breath materialise in front of him as he started to pant silently, fear crawling across his skin. I wanted it to remain etched there, permanently.

I was sure I was still acting.

But it would be so easy to end the life of this worm, although I considered it may not be satisfying in the slightest. Yet the warm, sticky sensation of blood matting in my hair, staining my flesh as I annihilated the body of another would always be an indescribably euphoric feeling, one that struck deep in my core, calling to me like the sweetest siren’s song. Even if the fight was not fair, that feeling would still awaken, sparking my whole body into bliss. This was a feeling that resonated with my whole spirit, a hypnotic desire guiding me as I moved. Flashes of memories cycled too fast for me to process as my feet connected with the floor, one after the other, closing in on my prey. This simply felt natural. I only had eyes for one person as excitement pooled in my stomach. I knew exactly what I wanted in that moment.

I wanted to bring death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait in updates! Had huge writer's block and back at uni now, eek!  
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos so far, it means the absolute world to me, and I will update this very very soon!  
> ~Max


	6. Bloodlust

Everything was in slow motion.

Tonpa’s body was falling forwards, surprise written on his face as his knees buckled. He didn’t even have the time to hold his hands out in front of him, head meeting grass with a soft _thump._ He was out cold, and I was frozen mid-step, hand curled and reaching for the older man. What had just happened?

Kurapika was staring at me blankly as he crossed the distance between himself and Tonpa, searching the unconscious man for his tag. He then shoved it into his pocket, focusing on Sommy.

“Your tag, if you could.”

I saw Sommy’s throat bob as I remained confused, the man swiftly passing his tag to Kurapika. I then recalled I was still holding the monkey, gently putting him down with a rueful smile.

“I really am sorry, I don’t like to hurt animals.”

The monkey didn’t seem to accept my apology, spitting at me and instantly jumping to Sommy’s shoulders. However, the attempt to gain space between the rest of us was in vain, for Kurapika’s bokken shot out of his hands and impacted with the back of Sommy’s head. Like Tonpa, he was out cold. This seemed to snap me out of my trance, slowly exhaling and letting all the tension leave my body.

“S-sorry guys, I’m a pretty scary actor huh?” I laughed nervously, holding my hand out for the tag. Kurapika seemed to approach me like a feral animal as he carefully transferred the badge into my palms. I cocked my head at him in mock disappointment.

“C’mon guys, you don’t really think I meant that, did you?” I’d already said to myself when I got here that I wouldn’t hurt these people – the fact they were fictional was irrelevant. Besides, this universe was savage enough, why would I want to contribute to that brutality?

But the pair didn’t seem convinced, with silence falling on Kurapika. Leorio stared at me with a cacophony of emotions: terror, repulsion, horror clearly on his features. My smile faltered, my voice barely a whisper.

“Wow, I actually scared you guys…” I pinned the second tag next to my own on the inside of my shirt, not wanting to meet their gazes. Exhaustion, dismay suffocated my body as my shoulders hunched over, turning away from the pair. I left them without another comment, shuffling my feet in an attempt to force myself to walk away. I didn’t know why I felt so disappointed. I had just been acting, why couldn’t they see that?

“Who are you?”

The quiet question jarred me in my tracks, craning my head at the inquiry, refusing to fully face them again. Pale hands were holding a knife, and I watched it shake dangerously as the asker tried to hide his fear in front of me. Composed for once, Kurapika remained by the Doctor’s side, bokken no longer drawn. My throat felt raw, achingly dry as I studied the pair. They were the yin to the other’s yang, a perfect storm of power. I couldn’t help but envy them, just a little.

“I don’t know.” The answer left my lips before I realised I’d spoken, shoving my hands in my pockets. Kurapika seemed to nod in understanding, whilst the other looked more confused than ever. I couldn’t help but give them more advice before I left them behind.

“Even if you don’t trust me, you should trust your friends. You will need them for the rest of this phase.” I didn’t wait for their response as my feet took off into a run, aiming to be anywhere but in front of the pair. My job was done here now, I’d be a hunter in less than a week; I’d done it.

* * *

 

My mindless running had brought me in front of Hisoka and Illumi, great.

So my legs thought the best way to survive this week was to throw myself into the path of two serial killers? What kind of fucked up body had I been thrown into? Whatever God that was watching over me was clearly a masochist. I tried not to mentally sigh as the dirt Illumi was hiding in shifted, his head poking out of the hole. Hisoka was leaning against a tree, flicking a card casually between his fingers.  It was like they’d both been expecting me.

“Someone’s riled up~” Hisoka cooed, an eerie grin plastering over his features. I couldn’t help but flush, bristling as my body tensed. The low lilt in his tone implied a frustration of an entirely different sort…

“J-Just, one moment.” I wheezed, resting my hands on my knees as my body was wracked with both annoyance and breathlessness. I was a trembling wreck. The pair watched me with amusement as I slowly regained my wits.

“Why do you have to make everything sexual?” I mumbled, my fringe stuck to my sweaty forehead. Man, I was out of shape even in this universe. Illumi quirked a brow at his companion, the only sign of his curiousity. Hisoka’s light laughter filled the small clearing, disguising his smile behind his hands. His eyes squinted dangerously as he spoke.

“Who said I was being sexual?” He began laughing more, much to my irritation. This guy was a pervert, when was he _not_ sexual? I refrained from articulating this aloud, considering there was something about this situation that I was clearly missing. What was so amusing to them…?

“I’m talking about your bloodlust, Ray-chan. It’s simply _divine~”_ He now towered over me, nostrils flaring as he seemed to scent the air. Nothing could’ve been as disturbing as the purely orgasmic expression that washed over his features in that split second. It was the type of gaze that instantly made you feel like you hadn’t washed in a month. Ick.

“Hisoka has a point. You’re radiating murderous intent, but it’s still a speck compared to us.” Illumi stated rather bluntly, and my brow crinkled. I couldn’t feel anything of the sort, and I certainly didn’t want to kill anyone in that moment. Well, that was a tiny lie - I considered punching the pair so they’d stop fucking with me.

“Bullshit, I’m not falling for that.” I said boredly, sticking my lip out in clear disappointment at the two of them. “I know what I feel, and I definitely do not want to spill the blood of another, I never have.” Certainty was laced in my tone, the resolve in my heart affirming my beliefs. I’d said it many a time already – I would not hurt anyone here unless I had to. I swore on it.

The guffaws snapped me out of my mini monologue, gritting my teeth together. Hisoka had bent with laughter, body shaking with the perceived hilarity of my words. Even the stoic next to him had cracked a bemused smile, clearly stifling a chuckle of his own.

“What’s so fucking funny?” I demanded, huffing. I knew I had no bargaining power, and that they would probably never tell me, but dammit they were getting on my nerves. My body may have instinctively ran to them, but I sure as hell did not want to be mocked like this. Bunch of bastards.

“It’s you, my dear. You’re just so precious like this. Do you really believe the words you say?” Hisoka asked, and I tried to ignore the black gaze that was currently boring into the corner of my vision. They were both staring now, but it was obvious they still found a lot of amusement in the situation. Did they think it was funny that I had a set of morals they clearly didn’t? That’s not exactly worthy of such a response from the two…

“Of course I do! _You’re_ the strange ones for feeling apathetic towards murder.” I emphasised my words by pointing at them incredulously. “Normal people don’t want to kill, and they definitely don't feel good about it. I’ll only hurt someone if my own life is in danger, that’s what rational human beings do, unlike you two.” I continued to explain, as if telling a five year old that drawing on the walls in permanent marker was unacceptable.  
  
“It’s called having a moral code. You think it’s what makes humans weak, but it makes us strong. It separates us from animals; it allows for civilisation to prosper and humanity to evolve.” I continued to rationalise, seeing the smiles slowly slip from their faces. Good.  
  
“So yes. I fucking meant it when I said I won’t draw blood unless I have to, and nobody can change my mind on that.” I folded my arms together in finality, revelling in the blissful silence that radiated from the pair. I’d have to store this memory in the front of my mind forever, just so I could remember their blank expressions.

Hisoka hummed, still flipping a card between his fingers. Meanwhile, Illumi was now fully out of the hole, regarding me with clear calculation in his posture. The moments dragged before anyone moved again, and Illumi seemed to come to an internal decision.

“Would you like to know the secret behind oue joke?” He asked nonchalantly, as if he couldn’t give a shit if I said yes or no. Knowing him, that was probably the case. But the shots of electricity that were trickling up my arms warned me otherwise, and I found my legs jarred together as he easily closed the distance between us. I could feel the thick sensation of dirt tickling my shoulders before hands planted themselves there. But I didn’t feel scared, only suspiciously alert.

I couldn’t see his expression as I spoke, considering the man was towering behind me. “Sure, I guess.”

A small chortle escaped Hisoka’s lips, his eyes focusing elsewhere. The air around us seemed to stagnate, pregnating every moment and making each of Illumi’s movements appear incredibly drawn out. I swear I could feel the change in temperature, goose bumps sprouting on my skin as cool lips met my ear. His grip was terse, redness flaring where his fingers met my exposed flesh.

“Even as you speak with such passion, your body craves violence.” His light voice drifted deftly into my ears, but everything about his manhandling of me was definitely _not_ gentle. My liquefied body was now moving of its own accord; it took me a moment to realise that he was forcefully pushing me in the direction of the bushes surrounding us. Hisoka hadn’t moved an inch, however. I couldn’t help but gulp as my muscles were completely paralysed by the bloodthirst oozing from the assassin shoving me. God, being in his presence was utterly _soul destroying._  
  
The bushes rustled as a flash of crimson caught the edges of my vision. An object twitched, clawing for my feet. Illumi was pushing me even closer to it, genuine fear prickling in my heart. What the hell was going on?

I almost toppled forwards as the strong arms suddenly evaporated, reaching forward and yanking said thing out of its cover. I almost vomited right there and then.

A mangled body faced me.

Desperate, crushed eyes met mine. Their hair was shod with blood, and I could’ve sworn there was far more blood than there should’ve been. Their skin was stained a horrid ruby, their cracked lips trying to form words. But all I could hear was gurgles, the agonisingly slow heave of their chest as their lungs tried to expand. I was pretty sure they were choking on their own body fluids. And oh fuck – _the smell_ – this was going to be scarred into my brain. The pungent stench of burned flesh mixing with blood was a concoction that would make anyone hurl. But I couldn’t, my body was still unresponsive as I took in this disgusting sight in front of me.

Their limbs were contorted on themselves as they limply, meekly reached for my person. Their fingers snapped as they attempted to extend them. It was like I was their last bastion of hope before the gates of hell. The concaves on their ribs made me wonder how they were still alive. My eyes narrowed in absolute horror as I realised that Illumi had done this, and deliberately kept them breathing.  
  
“This girl tried to snipe me earlier, I thought you’d like to finish the job.” Illumi said casually, as if he were simply looking at a worm and not another _human life._

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What made you think I’d want to kill her? Did you hear _anything_ I just said!?” I practically screamed at the Zoldyck, my voice the only thing responding to my commands. I was incredulous, furious, absolutely disgusted. It took everything in me not to faint right then and there. If I could’ve, I would’ve clenched my fists and let loose at this abominable bastard.

“But she’s lying in front of you, it’d be so easy…” He murmured, cold fingers meeting my heated skin. They trailed to under my chin, tipping it up and forcing me to meet his bottomless gaze. I tried to do anything but look at him, but my frozen body would refuse to comply. I glared back at him, pure hatred igniting in my previously icy orbs. My teeth gritted.

“No way in hell.” I spat out, my body trembling with my anger. This was so unbelievably fucked up.

“P-Please…” A guttural voice rasped out, barely a whisper as my glare snapped to the sniper. She was staring intently at me – _begging me_ – to end her life. The utter and entire defeat in her eyes told far more than her words ever could. I was the only one who could put her out of her misery here; I knew Illumi and Hisoka would refuse. She was going to have an agonising death, unless I stepped in.

But I didn’t want to.

“Ray-chan, your bloodlust is intensifying. It’s delicious~” Hisoka’s words fell on deaf ears, and I snatched Illumi’s hand away from me, batting it away with ease. My whole body was tense as my anger forced me through my previous stillness. Crouching by the dying girl, I swore at the glee I could feel practically _radiating_ off the pair. Illumi’s bloodlust was almost suffocating, but not enough to quench the pure fury I had at these two. How dare they treat a life like it’s nothing, and how fucking dare they drag me into this shit. To prove what? Absolutely fuck all.

“I’m sorry.” My voice was not my own. It was distant, bland as the words tumbled out. My hands numbly circled her throat, vision blurring as my body felt weightless, a marionette on a string. The world seemed far away in that moment, the only thing rousing my senseless core being the story told in her eyes. My fingers clenched.

She looked grateful.

And that feeling – the outrage and indignation wrapped my body in a cocoon, desensitising my skin, a blanket of absolute numbness as the rational side of me shut off. It just had to. My mind was quiet, dulling like the eyes that stared back at me, gratitude etched in that god-damn mangled face of hers. There was nothing peaceful nor poetic about the crunch of her windpipe, the swift second it took for her body to go completely limp. She was definitely dead.

I felt arms prise my hands off the corpse, which were still locked into the position I’d used to murder her. My body allowed itself to be moved as I felt hard oak now pressed against my back. The sticky coating of blood which seemed to cover every available inch of my skin was almost sickeningly comforting. Words were filtering into my ears but I could not find it in me to hear, let alone process them. I was no better than the pair who tried to catch my attention, I was a killer.  

The worst part was that I was satisfied.

It was a deep, long dormant urge that had been minutely nibbling at my conscious, but it was totally and utterly silent now. The restlessness had evacuated my body in mere moments. There was no distress, no conflict infesting my heart when I’d crushed her lungs. I’d just done it with no thought whatsoever, my sensibilities well and truly suppressed. No matter how much my rational mind would deny it, the primal instinct burrowed in my soul had enjoyed it, had liked it. Nothing could feel as eerily familiar as being painted in crimson.

The noise was still trying to invade my ears, and my eyes blankly searched for the source. Black eyes found mine, and I robotically tuned in, expression completely devoid of any fragment of feeling.

“I hate you.” I droned flatly at the pair, my face drooping, lowering onto my hunched knees.  My energy had been completely sapped, I simply did not have the capacity to care or move in that moment.

“No, you don’t. Your bloodthirst is sated now.” Illumi spoke lightly, almost cheerfully as Hisoka simply snickered. An arm snaked itself around my shoulders as my body remained motionless. I could feel my muscles sagging.

“It’s boring to see you so miserable, so how about you pay the price for revealing our joke to you?” Hisoka asked, the dangerous _thwip_ of cards reaching my ears. But still, I was unresponsive.

The arm around me tightened, hot air tickling my ear as the Zoldyck leaned into me. “That sounds like an excellent idea. How about it Ray?”

I knew I should’ve protested, attempted to run from their presences. But a large part of me was aware it was futile; they’d slice me in half in seconds. It wasn’t like I had the moral high ground anymore either. I was simply a murderer, and I didn’t even have the excuse of self-defence. I’d just wanted to end her suffering, and cease their goading. They would’ve absolutely tortured her if they hadn’t forced me to step in. In a sick sort of way, I’d gotten the best out of a disgusting situation.

They took my deathly silence as a sign of agreement.

The wet sensation of a tongue circling the shell of my ear was rousing me to full consciousness, shivers flourishing on my skin. My heart almost stopped.  
  
“You see Ray, You won’t remember this, but your brothers made a deal with me a long time ago.” The stinging of teeth nipping my ear left me hanging intently on his every word; there was no way I couldn’t not focus on Illumi. The raven strands of his hair blocked most of my vision, we were like two lovers sharing an intimate moment. His arm felt evermore present whilst it was curled around me. My hunched form opened only slightly.

“Your bloodlust has always been insatiable.” He continued to explain, his voice ringing straight into my mind as his arm wound tighter, pulling me flush against his front. My lungs let out a small gasp of surprise at the pure strength in the body that now held me. “So I taught you to harness it, to control it as your greatest weapon.” I was powerless in his grip, throat bobbing as I barely managed a swallow. His lips had now travelled to my neck, licking and suckling at the soft skin exposed there. The teasing tug of lips sparked something in my gut that I did _not_ want to think about right now.

“And in return, you are mine.”

The strict touches had morphed into caresses, long and slender fingers trailing down my sides, slipping with ease under my black vest. His fingers left a trail of sparks, stirring me out of my auto piloted state in seconds. Each movement was sensuously slow as Illumi’s pale hands completely roamed my body. My heart jumped to double speed, any sounds or words of protest instantly dying in my throat. I couldn’t help but relax into his touch. It was so deceivingly gentle, but it ignited and unravelled a base need that I didn’t even realise I had.

I could feel his body rumbling with his amused laughter, his hands going lower, even lower down my torso, passing my belly button and trailing towards the waistband of my shorts. He was still pressing his lips to my neck, a sharp sting emanating from his mouth as he bit me – _hard._ He continued to tug at the flesh, ensuring he drew blood. I could barely breathe, god, this felt disgustingly good.

He swiftly dipped his hands into my trousers, expertly navigating my body and setting my senses alight. He pierced the smooth flesh of my thighs with his fingernails, easily scratching and tearing small ribbons into them. The back of my mind reasoned that this should’ve hurt, that I should be in pain. But all I could feel was absolute pleasure at his masterful actions. Whilst there was nothing affectionate about this exchange, the possessiveness, the dominance that radiated from the assassin forced me to submit. Even if I wanted to, I could not fight this. The assault on my senses had no end in sight, and my whole body was panting, heaving, shaking. Sweat began to gather on my forehead, flares of arousal pooling in my stomach and branching across my body. Every sinew of my being was captivated.

“Do you understand?” A husky voice breathed at me. I found just enough strength to nod, his fingers clawing deeper. He was still biting my neck, marking me as his possession. I had no strength nor desire to protest. My vision was beginning to fade as my body completely succumbed, a low groan escaping my throat. It was guttural and raw, desperate even. His actions became more fervent, more insistent as he massaged the inside of my thighs, still teasing. It was so overwhelmingly arousing that the need inside of me keened for attention, for release. I didn’t want to be played with anymore.

“He’s about to go again~” Hisoka cooed. The tiny part of me that wasn’t totally pliant under Illumi’s touch was confused. Illumi’s motions suddenly stopped, his hands resting on my thighs still. Disappointment was evident in his tone.

“That’s a shame.” He withdrew, and my hands reached back for him, my body searching for his. Wanting more, not wanting him to stop, not wanting him to _ever_ stop. I was a desperate man, and he’d left me high and dry.

A small flare of understanding hit me as my body tumbled forward, the support that had been keeping me upright no longer behind me. In that one instant, I plummeted into unconsciousness. The black-haired assassin had caught me just before my face connected with the grass, an amused smile gracing his features.

I was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you HoneyxHunter for your comments! They keep me going :) 
> 
> so the plot thickens further... was it anyone expected?  
> Thanks for the support everyone! You're fab <3
> 
> ~Max


	7. Time Lost

My vision was completely black. I blinked once, twice to clear away the darkness in my sight, but it didn’t shift in the slightest. I was unusually _warm_ , I realised, a foreign, but not unwelcome presence wound around my waist. The world around me smelled damp, but there was nothing else I could discern.

Wait… what?

I tried to reach out with my fingers, only meeting a larger, smoother palm as the earth around me rumbled. I instantly retracted, attempted to leap backwards, but I seemed to be cocooned from all sides. What seemed to be a cave continued to shake around me, a silky voice reaching my ears.

“Have a nice sleep?”

Oh, I clicked where I was.

So it turns out I was in a hole, underground, with _Illumi Zoldyck’s_ hand wrapped protectively around my small frame. Did that mean we were spooning? God, I must’ve been as red as a beetroot. How long had we been like this? Why did Illumi let me stay here with him? This was so freaking weird.

Groggily, I dug a little at the dirt in front of us to make space. It wasn’t stuffy – surprisingly – I just didn’t want to think about something kinda hard and pointy poking my backside. No, Ray, we aren’t going to consider what _that_ is.

“How many days has it been?”  
  
“Five.”

My fingers fell dead in their motion.  
  
“You’re fucking with me, right?”

Illumi hummed in contentment, the soft touch of fingers carding evenly through my hair. The gentle sensation of lips followed, not nearly as possessive as the last time he’d been… affectionate? I still wasn’t sure what to call what he did – what _we_ did.

“Not at all, we had fun.”

My face scrunched into a frown. “You mean that you had fun, not me. I was out this whole time. You didn’t try to do anything disgusting to me, right?” My body tensed at how vulnerable I’d ended up whilst I was unconscious, a sense of dread gnawing into my stomach.

“If you did, I will fucking tear your eyeballs from your skull.” If I could help it, nobody in this universe would be taken advantage of, and that also included me. Illumi continued his actions without hesitation, brushing some earth out of my hair nonchalantly.

“Of course not, I’m not a monster.”

I snorted. “Agree to disagree. Can we get out of here now? The phase is almost over.”

The arm around me tensed, closing the ever so slight gap between us. Illumi’s lips stopped their motions, drifting down to my ear. His voice was low, strained.  
  
“I’m going to issue you a warning.” He spoke harshly, breath tickling my cheek. “Your bloodlust will only be sated for so long – we don’t want a repeat of what happened 5 days ago, do we?” It was a barely concealed threat, but I could discern the briefest hint of concern in his tone.

“There won’t be a repeat if you don’t force me to kill anyone again.” I almost spat, hackling as the hairs stood on the back of my neck. Who did he think he was? _He_ was the one that made me murder Siper. At least, it was the most merciful thing to do anyway. I couldn’t just leave her to choke on her own blood and vomit…

“Okay, see you in the final phase.” The tension had drained from his body, the click of nails dragging into dirt reaching my ears. In seconds, he’d hauled himself out of the hole, leaving me weary and honestly a bit confused; Illumi’s mood really did flip so easily.  
  
I waited five, maybe ten minutes before I hauled myself out of the makeshift hideout. My limbs protested, cracking as pain shot through my veins. My muscles groaned, soreness puckered in my movements. God, sleeping in the dirt did no wonders for your body. I shuffled rather hesitantly to where I knew the starting area was, clutching my two tags with all the grip strength I had. I wasn’t going to let someone ambush me at the last moment; that just couldn’t happen.

A crop of black and green hair greeted me in the distance, the shadow of a small arm waving towards me. That frame could only belong to Gon, and I recalled that Leorio and Kurapika would be close behind him. Were they going to make things awkward?

Well, I’d saved their asses from Tonpa and Sommy, as well as warning them about Bourbon’s trap – sort of. They didn’t need to know that they would’ve been fine without me. But on the other hand, I’d obviously scared the shit out of them. They had nothing to fear from me, but they would clearly be wary. Kurapika at least partially understood that I had no clue what was going on with me, maybe he wouldn’t be so paranoid if I prove that I’m not a threat?

It was with this thought in mind that I straightened my back, graced a light smile on my features as I deftly strolled up to the younger boy, ignoring the spasms of complaint in my muscles. Like before, sturdy arms surrounded me, a tanned nose burying into my black shirt.

“Ray! You did it!” His smile was akin to sunshine, lighting up his features in a wonder that only a child could achieve. But it faltered slightly, seeing the mud that coated nearly every inch of my body. “But I didn’t get to see you at all…”

I flicked his nose, my own expression warming with ease. “That’s not a bad thing, it meant we weren’t each other’s targets and we could all pass!” I gestured to the rest of Gon’s group, who were stood a fair few paces away. Leorio peeked down at me through his glasses, a small “tch” leaving his lips as they curled into a frown. Beside him, Kurapika was totally silent, contemplative. Gon peered over his shoulder at them, confusion lacing his tone.

“Why are you acting so strange towards Ray? He’s our friend!”

Leorio opened his mouth, but a hand shot out to over it, their fingers splayed over his lips. The blonde glared at Leorio, demanding silence before his stare met mine. His expression was clearly unreadable, despite the teenager usually being so emotive. His smile was thin.

“We encountered Ray during the phase, and it was a bit uncomfortable.” He stated flatly, slowly letting his fingers drop back to his sides. However, as soon as the pressure left Leorio’s mouth, it instantly gaped.

“But he could’ve killed us, did you not see how murderous his face was!?” He boomed incredulously, catching the attention of the remaining applicants around us. Great, literally everyone’s eyes were on me now.

I sighed a little, not allowing my smile to waver as I tried to place my sincerity in my tone. I bowed to the pair slightly, detaching myself from Gon and speaking as evenly as possible.  
  
“That was never my intention. If it was, why would I have helped you? Twice, may I add.” Gon’s eyes were widening, darting between the pair and myself with confusion. Then, like a shockwave, realisation hit his features.

“See? Ray wouldn’t hurt you, he’s your friend too!” He turned on his heel, arms cocking to his hips as he stuck his lip out in a pout. “Don’t be so mean to him!”

Leorio only made a hum of discontent, hooking his arm through Kurapika’s. “C’mon Kurapika, let’s just go.” But the younger boy did not budge, feet planted solidly in the ground. His focus was only on me, interrogating me with his bright blue graze, appraising my honesty.

The moment stagnated, falling to the deadlock of stares, unspoken words lingering in the air. It seemed like an eternity before Kurapika took another breath.

“No, Gon’s right. I apologise, Ray.” It was now his turn to incline his head towards me, a gesture of apology. I simply nodded back, smile never faltering.

“And I’m sorry for scaring you two.” My tone was laced with meekness, nervous laughter reaching the corners of my eyes. “Friends again?”

“Morons, get on the boat!” Another voice bellowed, dragging my attentions from the trio. Killua was waving from the ship, tapping his foot impatiently. “Who cares what happened in this phase?” He rolled his eyes as I finally boarded the boat, watching as it dipped slightly with the extra weight. I only nodded at him, thankfulness in my features as I found my seat. I was rewarded with a ghost of a smile, probably the closest I was going to get to Killua at this moment in time. Well, at least he’d stood up for me – kind of.

As I sat cross-legged on the boat, the waves lapping gently at the sides as we chugged along, I scanned the ship for the rest of the participants. Pokkle was sat, talking idly to Bordoro with ease, both hunched in a corner. Illumi, now Gittarackur, stood at the opposite end of the ship to Hisoka, neither one acknowledging the other. And obviously, in the middle was where Gon sat with Hanzo, Kurapika, Leorio and Killua, chatting amicably and laughing lightly with each other.

Nobody was next to me, or even near me.

It’d taken me a few seconds to realise that there was actually quite a large berth around me, and I blinked a few times. Not even Hanzo spared a glance in my direction, and he’d been so eager to talk to me, to partner with me earlier in the exam. Why was everyone being so… strange?

Just another to add to my mountain of questions, I guess.

* * *

 

I rapped on the oak door gently, reaching for the knob.

I knew, I just knew Illumi was here. Not because of me watching the anime or anything, but because I’d checked every other inch of the ship for him. I needed answers, and sadly he was the only one I could ask them to. Illumi had the most information about me, about my past than anyone else on this airship, so in essence he was the sole option I could pursue.

After receiving no answer, I turned the knob, cracking it open an inch. However, that was enough for my instincts to scream, to yell and force my body to hit the floor. Arms splayed, the _whoosh_ of pins sailed passed my ears, right where I had been stood moments ago. Oh, Illumi had tried to kill me, that’s nice.

“Jesus fucking Christ Il- Gittarackur, it’s just me.” I cautiously clambered back to a standing position, poking one eye through the gap I’d created. When I again heard no answer, or another wave of needles rushing towards my face, I stepped inside. The door clicked softly behind me, ensuring we were truly alone.

“What is it?”

Illumi had his arms folded behind his head, black orbs boring into mine as he displayed no inclination to move or greet me. His head was cocked to one side, curious.

“I have some information you might want. Don’t ask me how I know it, just trust me.” I began, perching on the other bed opposite him. Luckily for me, Illumi had chosen a room that had two single beds, and I didn’t have to stand awkwardly over his figure. Not that I would’ve had to worry for long, because he instantly rocketed up, bolt upright as he stared at me face-on.

“Proceed.”

It wasn’t a request, it was a demand. One that would make others cower, or recoil in fear, but not me. This was the one bargaining chip I had over Illumi, the only one I had in this foreign world I’d been thrown into. And I was going to use it to get knowledge of my own, to discern my place in this universe. I needed every titbit of information I could elicit.

“It’s about your brother, but I need something in return. And don’t you dare try piercing my head with those pins of yours, because you won’t be able to pry this from me otherwise.” I reasoned. If I became a mental vegetable, I assumed I’d forget everything I knew from outside this world, and I’d become the Ray that was here before me. At least, I hoped so, because this was the only assumption I had.

His expression remained blank, and his fingers did not twitch towards the needles studded in his jacket. Thank god, that was a good sign.

“What do you want for it, and how do I know you will be telling the truth?” He questioned with a tinge of suspicion. I guess it was fair enough for him to be sceptical.

My voice thankfully did not waver as I listed my requests. “I want you to answer some of my questions. And you’ll see I’m telling the truth with your own eyes in a day or so, because I know Killua will not pass the Hunter Exam.” There, I’d laid out my spread of cards. What was Illumi going to do with this?

“Interesting. Why not?” He leaned forward, resting his chin on his palms. Excellent, he’d taken the bait.

“He’ll kill the old man, Bodoro, and it’ll disqualify him.” I remained perfectly still, eyes trailing to where Illumi had retrieved a pin from his shirt, twirling it between his thumb and forefinger. He contemplated my words, scanning my posture for any sign of lying, of betrayal. I assumed he found none, because he only repeated his words.

“Interesting.”

Still spinning the pin, he pressed one finger to the corner of his mouth. It took another moment for his eyes to fill with realisation, gaze snapping to mine once again.

“Oh!” He exclaimed. “I know what I can give you for that information. It pleases me to know my Kil won’t pass the exams, he wasn’t meant to after all.” He murmured. His bed groaned as his weight was lifted, planting himself next to me and winding a taut arm around my waist.

“Lie down with me.”

Uh, what?

“Excuse me?” I tried to wriggle out of his grip, discomfort reaching every pore of my skin. But his body was unyielding, like trying to crush a mountain with a toothpick. He flopped backwards, taking me with him as I narrowly missed colliding with the wall. Now lying beside him, he ensnared my limbs with his, locking me in place as his unusually pale face was mere centimetres from mine.

“I’m helping you, Ray. I can’t let you jeopardise my brother’s failure.”

I continued to stare at him in confusion.

“What?” I finally dared to ask, absolute bewilderment filling me. Was he going to try some creepy shit again? God, he was worse than Hisoka…

“Your bloodlust.” He clarified, as if informing a child that the world wasn’t flat. “Kil has to be the one that kills him, not you. I’m going to make sure you don’t lose control.” His leg covered mine as soft fingertips grazed the back of my neck, rousing a shudder from my skin. He smirked at this, continuing his ministrations.

“I’m uh- I-I’m still confused.” I managed to sputter, heat rising to my cheeks as my skin basically crooned at his touch, electrifying every inch he came into contact with. It was like my body, my whole being, needed something I just couldn’t comprehend. It was in this moment that I totally resented myself.

“I’m going to kiss you.” He said flatly, stoically. It was definitely _not_ the voice of someone you wanted to kiss. What the fu-

My thoughts were instantly silenced.

Cool lips met mine, teasing at the soft flesh, prising my mouth open with a gasp of surprise. The sparks were back. Apart from this time, it was an inferno. It raged and blazed and coursed through every cell of my body, saturating me with a sense of rightness, of goodness, of _need-_

I moaned, curling my fingers into his hair.

And I knew I shouldn’t have been proud of it, that I should’ve been utterly mortified, but there was no idle thought in my body that could’ve protested. My soul itself sang, consumed by the fire that he had instantly ignited in me, that scorched all of my senses, thoughts incinerated until there was only him, only us.

His tongue pried at my soft lips, exploring and ravaging my mouth as it played a sickeningly sweet melody, a dance that could only be described as lust. He knew exactly what he was doing, peppering light touches with hard claws, gouging yet massaging my neck, my shoulders to my lower back, clutching the muscles that lay there. It left my body hot and cold simultaneously, a cacophony of need, pain and just the right level of bliss. His body kept me locked in place as he only carried on, and I squirmed not out of discomfort, but needing more, needing to feel more. Because God, if he could do this with just his tongue…

But he didn’t stop, made no indication of stopping as comfortably cold fingers cupped my ass. It alleviated the blaze that threatened to consume me, dousing the overwhelming flames that licked from my fingertips to my toes. I was completely pliant, malleable to his touch, and I could tell he approved. Between kisses, he murmured sweet words of approval, of encouragement as his fingers continued to roam, rampant static following in their wake. I felt full- unbelievably so as gasps, groans were drawn from my lips, body heaving with these heavenly sensations. I was a starved man after the first taste of food, of being deprived of nutrients and sustenance for so fucking long, and it was utter ecstasy.

I don’t know how long it lasted. It could’ve been minutes, hours, for all I knew, but it was still the most satisfying thing I’d ever felt. And I was painfully aware of the severe tightening in my trousers, but it was neither uncomfortable nor unwelcome. In these moments, I knew it was okay to yield, and it would be for many times to come.

His touches became increasingly feathery, airy as they now trailed instead of devouring my skin, dancing across my body. I hummed in content, a lazy smile shadowing my lips as he finally released me ever so slightly, enough to see his triumphant smirk staring back at me.

I carefully prised my fingers from his hair, letting them drift to my sides. He pressed an unusually affectionate kiss to my forehead.

“You won’t need to worry about your bloodlust now, if what you predicted is correct. If not, you’ll owe me.” His tone was soft, deceptively lulling in its nature. I weakly nodded out of my daze, glints of determination unveiling in my azure eyes.

“I know I’m right, you’ll see.” I laughed a little, still wrapped in a cocoon of fulfilment, of satisfaction. He regarded me for an instant, before patting the bad gently.

“You need to sleep.” He stated blandly, but there was still traces of victory lingering in his tone. But I didn’t mind it, since I’d admittedly done more than just enjoyed myself. Hell, I’d loved it – but nobody else ever needed to know about this. I was going to question why he didn’t include himself in his statement, but then I remembered the sleeping habits of the Zoldycks and accepted his words with little protest. It was scarily easy to simply drift asleep beside him, carried away by the wave of warmth he had provided.

His arms remained wrapped around me the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Pokes head out of makeshift grave-  
> I'm back! for now.
> 
> My muses have been completely messed with since I've been studying so hard for my uni exams - hopefully I'll be updating a hell of a lot more (and more frequently!) when they're done next month.
> 
> I wanted to thank everyone, and apologise for being gone so long. Your words, comments, views and kudos mean the absolute world to me, and they really do encourage me to come back and continue this fic.
> 
> Lots of love!  
> Max <3   
> xo


	8. A wager gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray gets his license - or does he?

The bed was still warm when I woke up.

Blearily, I pushed my fringe out of my face as I crawled out of the bed. The other was clearly unslept in, crisp sheets pulled to a meticulous angle. The complementary soaps and shower gels remained untouched, stacked neatly on the nightstand beside me. If I couldn’t see the imprint Illumi had left in the duvet, I would’ve doubted he was ever here.

Well, trust an assassin to leave with barely a trace.

My head felt fuzzy, brain content and humming away in the background. It seemed my fixation with blood over the last few days had abated, leaving me more clearer-minded than ever. Events seemed to be turning out well, considering all I had to do was absolutely nothing to pass the exam now- as long as things played out exactly as they did in the anime. However, there was a distinct possibility that me being here has fucked something up along the way, and I may have to fight for my licence; I’d have to be ready for any possibility at this point.

Unless…

Could I use my “seer” powers to bullshit my way through? I was still going to be interviewed by Netero, and there was a chance I’d have to fight before Killua – and that could totally ruin everything. I don’t know what my influence will be on the final phase, I need to mitigate any issues.

An idea creeped into my mind, lips quirking into a smile. Of course, I felt bad that I was going to throw Killua under a bus (albeit a bus he was already going to be under), but this just had to be done. I could not fail.

* * *

 

“Hey Chairman, mind if we make a bet instead?”

Amusement flickered in his eyes, pen stopping mid-stroke. I was sat cross-legged, mimicking his posture as I let a devious smile light my features. This entire exam, I’d been nothing but seemingly reckless to the Chairman, so he wasn’t surprised by my outburst at all. I’d even cut him off mid-sentence, and he didn’t seem to care at all, almost as if he’d expected me to.

“That would depend on the conditions.” Was all he said, bringing a finger in his chin as he considered me. He was obviously curious – this was probably the funnest thing that would happen in these interviews, and probably the last exam phase.

“I’m guessing these interviews are to design a knockout round for the final phase. And you aren’t going to make it fair – some people will have an obvious advantage.” I said it in a tone that clearly hinted that I wasn’t guessing, like I could peer into his mind. But this did not disconcert him, not even a flicker of worry graced his face.

“Perhaps.” He simply responded, waving a hand for me to continue.

“I want to have the least chances.” His eyebrows raised ever so-slightly, not expecting me to ask for an obvious handicap. He probably thought that I had just come in here to be a smartass and gain some brownie points. But hopefully, he had no idea what I had in mind.

“I can’t allow that.” He stated flatly, eyes fixated on mine, expecting a protest or complaint. I did neither, only shrugging.

“Fine, how about we make this more interesting?” I offered, folding my hands in my lap, turning my palms upward as a means of showing that I was more than happy to bargain.   
  
“I bet that Killua Zoldyck will fail this exam. Actually – no, I bet he will fail by killing someone. My reward for being right will be not fighting before him. After all, if he’s going to kill someone, I’ll just get my license by default.” Confusion flittered across his features, but I held up a hand, indicating I wasn’t finished.

“And if I’m wrong, I’ll forfeit all my fights and tell you how you die.” I’d thrown out my bait, hoping it would reel in the sadistic chairman. If he had it his way, he’d likely place me with the most chances to see me beaten up for my arrogance, but I was offering something that anyone would be an idiot to ignore- assuming I was telling the truth of course. I caught him scanning my features, looking for something, anything that indicated I was lying.

He then made a small humming noise. We sat staring at each other for what felt like minutes, but then his whole composure changed. He beamed a bright smile, offering a thumbs up.

“Okay! It’s a bet!” I extended a hand to him, grasping his calloused hands. There, the deal was sealed now. I did wonder what made him make up his mind so suddenly however, but that wasn’t important. I beamed back at him, dusting off my shorts and standing to my feet. I was just about to place my hands on the door handle when his voice broke me from my automation.

“Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“You weren’t going to be put before Killua anyway.” I peeked at him over my shoulder, a broad smirk splayed on his features. He looked triumphant, like he’d scammed me in this deal.

But I just made a small snorting noise, pressing down on the metal handle.

“I know. See ya.”

However, I’d had no idea where I was going to be placed in this exam, and this bet made my efforts entirely worthwhile. I wouldn’t have to fight anyone, or potentially fail before Killua decided to rip Bodoro’s heart out. This could only be a win-win for me, right?

Turns out, I didn’t know everything.

* * *

 

I tried to look shocked when Netero unveiled the bracket chart, placing me at the very end. I mean, I _really_ tried, like not quite slapping my hands to my face and shrieking “oh my god!” surprised, but it was pretty close. At this point it was like watching a film I’d already seen, and my obvious lack of any startled emotion drew the attention of Illumi and Hisoka. I simply lifted the corner of my lip into a tiny knowing smile, watching as Hisoka’s face lit with glee whilst Illumi’s darkened, despite the pins clamping his face together.

All was going to plan, so far.

I tuned out Gon and Hanzo’s fight, knowing it would last for absolutely hours and it would be an absolute bore. I didn’t want to watch a ninja throw a child around like a ragdoll; that just wasn’t fun for anyone. Well, except for the chairman maybe. I huffed in agitation as Gon’s body was lifted out, and Pokkle proceeded to wail like a little shit when his arm was crushed behind his back. Even with such low standards, Kurapika’s fight with Hisoka was dull too.

I only really started paying attention as I observed Hisoka’s moves, dancing around Bodoro with obvious ease. He made fighting look like an art, like he was swaying with music that nobody else could hear. I had to admit, it was incredibly beautiful and kinda sexy to see him perform. Because that was what this was: a performance. I was almost sad when it ended, Hisoka’s gold eyes catching mine as he whispered into the old man’s ear. I was too focused on the _hungry_ look Hisoka was giving me to see defeat fill Bodoro’s features.

Something told me that the magician wasn’t done with me yet.

And now, we were heading towards the great reveal, where the fear and darkness consuming Killua would make him murder the old man in cold blood. I was tempted to leave, to come back when someone would inevitably find me and tell me I’d become a hunter by default, but something in Illumi’s mechanical stare compelled me to stay; he wanted me to see this. And I confess, I wanted to catch Netero’s reaction when he realised I was entirely right.

The sound of pins clacking to the floor brought me back, eyes fixating on the utterly amazing transformation occurring before my eyes. Familiar, silky black hair unveiled in front of me, piercing black eyes boring into the soul of his little brother. I could feel the stifling pressure of his nen against my skin, shooting goose bumps up my arms. Glancing around, I could tell I was not the only one who had this reaction. The colour from Pokkle’s face had drained, and Hanzo’s mouth was hanging slightly open. The chairman only looked interested, not fazed by the swarm of dark energy that consumed the entire room. I doubted moving away would make even an ounce of difference in the face of Illumi’s power.

But I was getting goose bumps for all the wrong reasons.

Although borderline suffocating, Illumi’s nen felt welcome to me. Instead of my mouth drying up in fear, it was dry with anticipation. My eyes were not wide in terror, but excitement. The waves rippled across my flesh, tickling and teasing every nerve it could reach. It was a poisonous kiss, offering unspeakable power at the price of total submission. It caressed my body, almost pliable under my touch. It was a familiar cocoon, and I would be okay with drowning in it.

Their words had fallen mute, but I was watching a silent drama unfold. Betrayal, hatred swamped Killua’s features, hair sticking up jaggedly as his entire body stiffened. He was completely paralysed – his chest barely rising with his sharp breaths, fingers not even daring to twitch. He was ensnared with fear, and a negativity so oppressive that it almost rivalled his brother’s. But any semblance of protest would be utterly futile before his brother, who was inching a finger towards Killua’s forehead. The boy’s emotions were bleeding from his face, the glimmer of innocence snuffed in mere moments. Those grey eyes, once alive with raw determination and the coming of the strongest storm were now lifeless, dreary as the clouds that hung outside.

Killua surrendered.

It was wrong, I know, but I could barely contain my excitement. _Thank the fucking Lord,_ I hadn’t fucked anything up. Everything was going as it should, and I would definitely get my hunter license now. There was no doubt about it.

I almost didn’t notice Illumi perched next to me, expression blank as always. But when I searched his eyes, I saw the triumph that others would easily overlook. He was pleased, but that was barely perceptible to the others around me. I didn’t dare say a word, only vaguely aware of the scandalised cries that drifted to my ears.

“How is he allowed to do that?”

“You’re just going to let him pass?”

“ _Why is he sat so comfortably next to Ray?”_

My head snapped up, meeting the bewildered and disgusted faces that met mine. I didn’t get it, the guy was just sitting beside me – what was I supposed to do, jeopardise my own chance at a license to punch him? To basically embark on a suicide mission? There was no way in hell that I was moving from this spot; I didn’t want to die today.

It was when Leorio stepped up to fight Bodoro, and when eyes were no longer on us that I lowly whispered to Illumi, a cheeky smile gracing my features for the briefest of moments.

“Here comes the grand finale.”

Illumi didn’t spare a glance at me, transfixed at the shadows that seemed to cling to his brother, how his limbs started moving robotically, mechanically. He was going to do it, his nails were sharpening into talons, surging for the deadly strike that would crush Bodoro’s beating heart. It was all happening so slowly, yet way too fast as a _squelch_ reached my ears. And in that instant, the martial artist collapsed with an unceremonious thud, his life snuffed in a mere moment.

But that’s when everything went to shit.

The coppery, metallic smell teasing my senses was so incredibly inviting, promising a heavenly elixir that I was insatiable for. It was begging me to feel it, to touch it, to _taste_ it as it wafted through my nostrils. And from there it coursed through my body, charming every sinew, muscle and fibre that it could find, an absolutely exquisite melody to my ears.

I didn’t even notice that I’d crossed the room in seconds, hunched over the warm corpse. I wondered how long it would take for the blood to go cold, congeal and crust in my fingernails. I could wear it, create my own masterful painting with my own skin, painting it a beautiful crimson. There was nothing in the world that I wanted, _could ever want_ more than this.

My hands were soaked in the substance, Pandora’s Box unleashed right before my eyes. God, this scene was so magnificent, so mesmerising and alluring. I would happily sit here for hours, days to imprint this art into my mind. I just had to touch it, to bathe in-

A freezing hand slammed onto my shoulder, and I was awake.

I blinked once, twice to thoroughly assess what the fuck was going on. Why was I kneeling in Bodoro’s blood? Why was my entire body trembling in what could only be excitement? Why couldn’t I rip my gaze away from the horrific scene in front of me? Why didn’t I find it disgusting?

“Ray, get up.”

Illumi’s command tore through my mind, quashing all other compulsions I possessed. I’d come so very close to doing some questionable shit, and Illumi had pulled me out before I’d lost myself completely. He hadn’t needed to rescue me, considering the exam was over, but he had _._ He’d shattered the spell at no benefit to him.

But… Illumi was a **_liar._**

He told me I wouldn’t feel this; that I would be okay until the end of the exam. And what was I doing? I was _still_ eyeing the dead body in front of me, not quite realising that all I wanted was to drink the blood. It’d be starting to cool by now, I’d have to do this quickly…

The pressure on me hardened, a vice-like grip on both of my shoulders now. But it wouldn’t ground me. No, Illumi _lied_ , I can’t trust him. I could never trust him. Illumi would never care for my best interests, why was he denying me now? The bastard was so fucking controlling, I’d seen this side of him multiple times yet I’d ignored it. Fuck him, I owe him absolutely fucking nothing and I’ll do exactly what I-

I was hoisted off my feet before a sound had even left my mouth, the image of Bodoro’s body flitting from my mind as I was carried away. The hardness of the thing carrying me was unyielding, and I knew it would be pointless to struggle. So I did the only thing I could:

“Thank you…”

My gratitude was barely a whisper, but I know he’d heard it. The haze was lifted from my mind, no longer imprisoned in what I could simply describe as some fucked-up bloodlust. There were no clouds in my vision, and it was like I was seeing for the first time in years. I risked a glance at my saviour, expecting to see anger and frustration on the assassin’s pale features, or at least some sort of emotion. But he was as stoic as ever, something unfamiliar flickering in his obsidian eyes. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but it just seemed so foreign on his features.

“Now we’re even, little lamb.”

Eh?

My eyebrows furrowed, confusion etching into my face, current concerns evaporating in an instant. Little lamb- what kind of pet name was _that?_

I opened my mouth to protest, but instead I felt a brief rush of wind hit me as I realised he’d just dropped me. My back complained as it was met with a not-so-comfortable material which wasn’t carpet. Wait… had he just plopped me into a chair, like a freaking bag?

I scowled at him, tempted to insult him, to release all the abuse that was sitting on my tongue when I felt several eyes on my somewhat crumpled form. Oh, we weren’t alone. Maybe I’d save the verbal lashing for later, since I could _maybe_ salvage the disturbing display I’d put on for everyone. I didn’t care what these people thought, but I wouldn’t want to run into them again and make them think I was some deranged teenager with a blood fetish.

I mean, I kinda was, but I didn’t want them to be so painfully aware of that.

I carefully sat upright, planting my feet on the floor as I refused to meet anyone’s gaze. I was hoping I could just pretend it didn’t happen, and that Illumi didn’t just carry me bridal style into another room. Nope, never happened.

Oddly enough, we were sat in the lecture theatre for the hunter briefing. Weren’t we a little early for this? Wasn’t Gon still unconscious?

But he wasn’t. He was staring at Illumi with hate-filled eyes as he took a seat near the front. I knew he’d been trying his best not to acknowledge me, but I’d seen the look in his eyes.

Betrayal. Confusion.

Of course, I was beside his current enemy, and not even protesting. I was in no state to complain, nor detach myself from Illumi’s side. I knew that my control was precarious enough, I couldn’t risk making another scene. I mentally apologised to Gon, hoping one day him and me both could understand what was going on with me, and that I hadn’t intended to hurt him. Although I wasn’t innocent; I’d stood by knowing what was going to happen, knowing he was going to be hurt by Illumi anyway, but I didn’t want that hurt to be partly stemming from me. I definitely felt pangs of guilt, underneath the complete and utter mess my feelings were right now.

The orientation might’ve passed smoothly, or there might’ve been a shit load of arguments like there was before, but I was unable to notice either way. The only thing I wanted to do was grab my licence, leave this place and figure out what the hell I was going to do from here. My options were incredibly limited, and I was likely to be alone indefinitely. Maybe this would be my destiny.

Ray: a person thrown into the Hunter x Hunter universe who does absolutely nothing of value and becomes another nameless character.

It didn’t sound too bad, actually.

“We’re going, little lamb.”

A hand clasped mine, pulling me gently to my feet as I was guided to the front of the room. I could feel the heated, betrayed stares boring holes into my back as I walked away from the people who could’ve been my friends, who wanted to be my friends.

Carefully, I turned my head to meet their gazes. A genuinely sad, apologetic smile had crossed my face before I’d even had a chance to school it.

“I’m sorry Gon, Kurapika, Leorio. You’ll understand why in the future.” It was all I could bear to say as I forced myself to face forward, following the Zoldyck beside me. I was in a contemplative silence when we approached Hisoka, leaning with one leg against the wall as he tapped his other foot expectantly. His arms were crossed, looking oddly neutral for someone so expressive.

His eyes roamed my body, before his lips settled in a small pout. It seemed that he’d assessed the damage, and I wasn’t so keen on being conscious of just how disgusting I probably looked and smelled right now.

“What are we going to do with him?” Hisoka asked, meeting eyes with Illumi. A silent debate was occurring between them, judging by their slight twinges in facial expressions, but it was obviously an argument I wasn’t going to be privy to.

“The lamb should come with me. You said yourself that he doesn’t remember.” Illumi finally broke their silence, his grip tightening on my hand. I hadn’t even noticed that our fingers were intertwined, and he was stood possessively close to me.

“This wasn’t what we agreed on, I’m not happy with this.” Hisoka stated flatly, not even sparing a glance at me now. I bristled a little, clenching my teeth.

“The situation has changed.” Illumi said with finality, stifling the words of complaint that were sure to be on Hisoka’s lips. I openly scowled at the pair of them, wrenching my hand from Illumi’s and putting a considerable distance between myself and them.

“Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here? My decisions are mine alone – I don’t need two psychopaths to decide my future for me.” I crossed my arms, standing my ground. Hisoka’s expression contorted, holding a hand to his mouth to cover his laughter. But his body gave it away, shaking silently.

“Of course he wouldn’t go willingly.” He commented airily, pushing himself off the wall. I didn’t react when his pale hand patted my head, carding through my black hair with ease.

“I’ll see you soon, little lamb.” And with that he began to stride away, his left hand shuffling a pack of cards as he walked with his usual grace.

I now turned my attention solely to Illumi.

“What is with you two calling me little lamb? What the fuck?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” He waved a hand in the air, dismissing my question with a bored tone.   
“But you need to come with me, I need to teach you to control yourself.”

Wait, what did that mean exactly? He was going to torture me, right? That’s one way to teach control – discipline, and a lot of it. And I was never going to agree to that, I’d rather sort out my own troubles than go through the “conditioning” the Zoldycks were so fond of. In short: Fuck that shit.

“If you’re going to torture me, I am not coming anywhere with you. Not now, not ever.” I said flatly, raising a challenging brow at him. Did he think I didn’t know what his methods were?

“I never said I was going to torture you, that’s saved for Zoldycks.” Illumi pointed out, and I caught the slight huff he made under his breath. “I’m going to help you re-learn nen.”

I gawked at him in confusion. “And that helps me with my little problem how?”

He huffed again, more audibly this time. “It just will, trust me. We need to go now.” He grabbed my hand once more, a bruising grip that I was sure that I would never be able to fight in my current state.

And besides, I was at a complete loss as to what I should be doing now. This was my only option, if I was going to be honest with myself. Maybe, just maybe, being taught by Illumi Zoldyck wouldn’t be complete and utter hell. It probably would be, but I didn’t have any other ideas right now.

I was being whisked away by an infamous and powerful assassin, with no clue what was in store for me. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is procrastinating all of their uni work?  
> That's right - it's me!
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely responses, they gave me the motivation to come back and continue without abandoning this fic for another 6 months or so. You guys are great, and if you're enjoying the story, feel free to let me know!  
> ~Max


	9. Canaries, Wolves and Robins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray thought training under Illumi would be enlightening, but as usual, shit goes down.

“Ray!”

A tough, taut grip had wrenched itself around my waist before I’d even had a chance to sputter out my confusion. My stomach constricted, lungs quickly gasping for air at the sudden intrusion. Jerking my hips slightly, the vice only got tighter with my struggles. That was, until a deep voice coughed loudly and the limpet detached itself, standing in front of me eagerly.

My line of sight was met with the top of curly, afro-like brown hair and a hint of chocolate skin. The glint of something shiny and round caught the side of my vision, and I acknowledged my reflection in the cane. It distorted my face in a way that made my eyes look huge and doe-like, and for a second I wondered if I’d morphed into a seven-year old girl during the airship ride.

“Canary?” I addressed the girl hesitantly, pulling down the hem of my shirt so none of my pale skin was showing. I wasn’t self-conscious or anything, but damn, nobody mentioned how freaking  _cold_ this mountain was. I had no idea how Killua and Gon traipsed around in t-shirts…

 Muted by the presence of the elder behind her, Canary nodded politely, dipping into a deep bow.

“Ray-sama, it’s good to see you again.” Her smile however, was utterly radiant, unable to be constrained by a butler’s formality. I blink at her slowly, trying to process the scene in front of me. Canary – a _zoldyck butler –_ was happy to see me? I don’t think I’d ever seen any of the butlers crack a smile, let alone look like the heavens had opened in front of them. Needless to say, I had no clue what was going on.

“I’m sorry, but how exactly do we know each other?” I began hesitantly, resisting the urge to take multiple steps back from the curly-haired girl and the shadow dawning over her. Gotoh was impassive as usual, his face strained, as if he was suffering from severe constipation.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

Her eyes lit in remembrance, left foot twitching slightly and tapping the earth with her train of thought.  
“Ah yes, Gotoh said you had lost your memories. Although- you don’t seem particularly different to me. You’ve always been forgetful.” I’m sure a tiny chuckle would’ve escaped her lips, if another warning cough hadn’t spurted from the elder butler. Seriously, this guy had no chill.

I however, was free to laugh lightly, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. Even in an alternate universe, my memory was worse than a centenarian. I waved a hand for her to continue, even if she was reluctant.

“To keep things short, you saved my life and helped me get a job here, and I will always be grateful for it. Under different circumstances, I would consider you a dear friend.” Her expression fell ever so slightly, unable to forget her current position. Yet she seemed genuinely glad to speak to me again, so I thought I’d try and offer her some reprieve.

“Oh, well I- I- can’t actually see myself doing that, but I’m glad I did!” I offer her a thumbs up. “Maybe we can catch up when you show me to my quarters? –If you will allow it of course.” I directed my question to the older butler, his face managing to scrunch up even more before nodding in acquiescence. With no further comment, he appeared to just simply vanish, leaving me alone with the surprisingly giddy apprentice. I noticed her shoulders slumped instantly, the tension draining from her body. It couldn’t be easy for her, being under constant scrutiny and all. It only took her a moment to loop her arm through mine, chattering eagerly.

“Now where do I begin…?”

 

* * *

 

 

_“Get up and fight, Kid.”_

Hazel eyes meet steel, the deep stench of rotting skin and ligaments swarming the area in a dark haze. But the latter seemed oblivious, arms splayed and muscles taught, protecting the cub behind their feet. They remained in this guarded stance, teeth bared as they practically growled at the other predators.

Three men, with knives, rope and pure malice as their ally.

A whimper escaped the girl, lurching forward as she staggered to her feet. Scraps of clothing clung to her skin, barely offering any notion of modesty. Knees bare, it was clear that she was shaking, that she was the target of the attackers’ revolting attentions. Her young mind could not conceive the atrocities they planned to commit against her, but something, some small part of her told her that she didn’t want to be caught by these men, even if she ended up as another body that decorated the space around them.

“ _I do not offer mercy to scum like you.”_

It happened faster than her eyes could possibly perceive, a cacophony of sneers cut achingly short, leaving no moment for cries of surprise, pain or despair. What should have been victorious roars for the men were stifled with the gurgle of blood, flooding their lungs and pumping from their gaping mouths. Her mind registered that her protector had moved barely an inch, yet these men were doubling over, fresh rivulets of crimson pouring from wounds she could not even begin to count. One had the other’s knife wedged into his neck, nestled tightly in his jugular. The one who was foolish enough to bring rope had it constricted around his waist, pushing the air, life and freedom from his body. She failed to notice that it wasn’t solely rope that constrained him, but his own entrails that had been brutally torn from his abdomen, snaking his midriff in a lethal embrace.

The boy in front of her had actually managed to move and incapacitate three grown men in seconds, yet she found no trace of fear in her heart. Her body had acknowledged that he was not hunting red riding hood, but the other wolves who dared to even try and taste her flesh. Of course, she knew that Meteor City was an unforgiving place, but she had never been in such a compromised situation before. Canary was smart, and she always had her back covered when she scavenged, skulked and danced under the shadows of the city. But this time she had been hunted and thoroughly cornered by the men who had been tracking her for days, and she’d been saved. Not by any God, but a feral boy who wore the fragments of their skin like armour.

Deeming the threats neutralised, he finally turned back to her, spotting a rusty pipe she’d acquired held loosely in her hands. He chanced to look directly into those hazel eyes, reading her carefully. She was tense, but not defensive in front of him. And her eyes contained no fright, just pure, unadulterated awe. Confusion flittered across his face, before he decided to speak over the ebbing murmurs of the dying.

“You picked up a weapon instead of cowering.” He stated, the venom having completely melted from his tone. “And you’re not hurt.”

“N-No.” She couldn’t stop the stammer in her voice, adrenaline fuelling her veins. She was sure it was the only reason she was still conscious. He then offered her a toothy smile, nothing like the snarl that had warped his features only moments before.

“You’re going to be incredibly strong one day, and paltry animals like these won’t land a scratch on you.” He sounded surprisingly level, even though blood was beginning to crust on his fingernails and face. The boy appeared to consider something, tapping his foot lightly and kicking up the dusty ground.

“I can show you a life away from here, where you can reach that potential. Their ways will be cruel, barbaric and unforgiving, but it will be rewarding- eventually. Or I can disappear now, and leave you to inevitably rot like the rest of us.”

She didn’t even need a moment to consider.

“I’ll do it.”

His features shifted, as if dawn bloomed on his features. Steely eye oozed liquid silver as he beamed, his whole body becoming more animated, alive. She was a stranger, yet he seemed genuinely… _happy_ for her? Is this what it was like to have someone care about you?

“Then I’ll take you.” He declared, a spritely, unwavering energy that she had never seen in another human before.

“Will you be coming with me?” It definitely sounded too good to be true, but it wasn’t like she had any other options. She was a nameless orphan in a forgotten city; and whilst she’d come to accept her fate years ago, she couldn’t help but hope and wish for something better, something bigger than picking at fragments of decay and debris to survive.

“No.” He replied instantly, causing her brow to furrow in confusion. She opened her mouth to speak, but he’d already said his words with such finality, with such acceptance that she knew they couldn’t be anything but true.

“Because there is no future for people like me.”

 

* * *

 

“-and you said it so _seriously,_ I almost forgot you were only a few years older than me!” She was laughing, soft skin crinkling at the edge of her eyes. I’d stopped walking, feet refusing to budge as I processed her story. I sounded like an absolute maniac, yet here she was, joking with me as if saving her life and slaughtering people was no big deal.

Wow, this world really _was_ ruthless.

But I was undeniably curious, because I seemed so ridiculously overpowered with the body I had landed into. I wasn’t sure If I’d had nen when rescuing Canary, and if I did, so many things just didn’t add up. My hatsu was to do with emitting sound waves, it was nothing like what she’d described…

“What happened to me after that?” I asked casually, noticing we’d been walking on a dirt path for about 20 minutes now. It was leading to a tiny wooden cabin, and what I assumed would be my abode for god knows how long.

“I’m not sure, honestly.” She admitted, turning her gaze away from mine. “After Gotoh picked me up from Meteor city- I’m assuming at your request- you just completely vanished. I didn’t hear anything about you until about a year ago, and at first I didn’t even know it was you! You never told me your name, after all.” There was a playful pinch on my arm.

“I spent years wondering where you’d gone, or if you were actually real! None of the butlers had any trace of you, and Gotoh just pretended you’d never brought me to him.” It was obviously something she had contemplated for a long time, and I felt a pang of guilt for the person I once apparently was.  I chuckled nervously, rubbing my shoulders.

“Ah, sorry about that. I don’t recall any of this, but I sound like a bit of an asshole.”

Her mouth fell open slightly, shaking her head vigorously.

“No- No! not at all! You gave me a new life, how could I ever resent you for that?” But I furrowed my brow at her, unable to resist asking yet another question.

“So how _did_ you find out my name?” I wasn’t even going to bother asking if she was ever scared of me, since she did work for a bunch of elite murderers. Now it was her turn to act nervous, bashful even.

“I may have overheard Illumi-sama discussing you with Mistress Kikyo. He spoke about a teenager who was savage in his methods, but would only need a little guidance to become an excellent fighter. You’d been brought to him by one of his clients, but I never found out who.”

“Huh.” Was all I had to comment, considering the turn of events. Between me saving Canary and being here now, I’d been taken under the wing of Illumi, maybe because somebody else asked. Hisoka maybe? He was inherently creepy, and I’m fairly sure he’d want to see me reach my full potential so he could fight me. I couldn’t help but shudder slightly at the thought of being dismembered by a pack of cards. If I could avoid dying at his hand, or dying at all, that would be peachy.

Deciding I’d heard enough about my past today, especially how… barbaric I was, I offered her a gentle smile, a small warmth flourishing in my chest. I wasn’t completely alone in this universe, and it actually felt really relieving. I didn’t realise how much I’d needed a proper friend until now.

“Say, can you meditate with me for a while? Illumi wants me to relearn nen, and I have to go back to basics.” I was a tiny bit resentful that I was starting from absolute scratch because it would be boring as hell, but it would be nice to practice with someone else.

She nodded eagerly. “Of course, I have a couple of hours before I need to go back on guard, and I can’t refuse a request from one of my masters.”

I was completely ready to slump onto the floor and cross my legs, but her words halted my automation. One of her _masters?_ My whole past had almost made some sense until she’d said that. Was I being treated like an honorary Zoldyck or something?

Exasperated with the new barrage of questions it brought, I decided not to question her any further, simply placing myself in a position to meditate.

This shit was too complicated for me to deal with right now.

* * *

 

“Hello, lamb.”

It’d been eight days. Eight painfully dull days of sitting outside my cabin and meditating. As soon as I stopped, a butler was there to remind me to continue in minutes. And whilst Canary was rather lenient, I was so ridiculously and hideously bored. My aura had felt like an extension of myself days ago, but my training had remained the same. I’d had only the company of the birds that had gathered in the evergreens around me, chirping happily whilst I continued my practice. To them, it was either like I wasn’t there or I was being treated like a creature who deemed no threat.

But after a damn eternity, I’d been graced with the Zoldyck’s presence.

“Hey.” I said curtly, eyes wide open as I maintained my aura. It hummed in the background, barely needing any attention on my part. I dusted the grass off my shorts, noticing the wildlife had silenced now Illumi was here. He was inspecting me carefully, and I was sure he was using Gyo.

“Your aura is a lot more stable now, you can try and emit your aura in sound.” His tone was flat, dark orbs as lifeless as the rest of his body. He could’ve been mistaken for a statue, if I couldn’t feel his aura rippling in powerful waves, prodding at my own but not intruding on it.

“Sure, one moment.”

I concentrated my aura into my throat, shifting it from the soles of my feet and through my stomach, letting it settle on my lungs. I turned slightly, facing the delicate robin perched on the tree, one who had become one of my more favourable companions in the past week.  Carefully, gently, I directed my aura out of my lips, a soft croon escaping my mouth. The bird tilted its head, focused entirely on the sounds that beckoned it closer. It hopped, landing next to my feet with a small thump. A smear of sweat was forming on my brow, but I continued my song, absolutely fascinated at the noises that I was making. They were so pure, so smooth and sweet that I wanted to simultaneously listen and project them, which would be an impossible task.

The small robin was chirping back, happily sitting beside my shoes. Unfortunately, this exchange was going to be for less than a minute, because I could feel my body beginning to shake, straining with the exertion of emitting and projecting my aura into a language, a formation which was not at all native to me. Even when I staggered, the bird did not budge. My breaths were laboured, and I couldn’t ignore the rolling in my stomach, the growing sickness which branched from my sternum. God, this nen stuff was so exhausting.

“I’ve never seen you do that before.” There was a calm, placating hand on my shoulder which kept me grounded to the here and now. I’d been so entranced by my nen usage that I’d _almost_ forgotten the looming, stifling presence mere inches away. Tearing my eyes away from the robin, I met his gaze evenly. Whether he was impressed or underwhelmed I couldn’t tell, because he remained as impassive as ever. At least, his lips didn’t twitch even a millimetre, and his eyes were still the void they’d been before. I could kid myself and think I saw a slight spark of curiousity in those dark pupils, but I won’t rate myself too highly. After all, at the moment I was just a budget Snow White.

I rolled my shoulders in a shrug. “It’s not like I remember anything from the past, so maybe I just developed it on the spot. Speaking of- are you going to keep me in the dark forever? Maybe I wouldn’t have to go through all this training if you could enlighten me.”

I didn’t even bother to sugarcoat it, or dance around the issue. It seemed that Illumi would know the most about me, since he had been in my company for at least a year. Knowing him, he was probably keeping me oblivious on purpose so I would remain indebted to him.

His lips pressed into a minute scowl. “There’ll be a better time to tell you. You’ll probably remember things on your own, little lamb.”  He waved a hand dismissively, startling the tiny creature as it scurried back into the trees, wings beating incessantly after being broken from my thrall.

A hiss of a snort escaped me. “Bullshit, you just want me to depend on you.” I gave him a level look, clearly not buying his lame excuse. “Which is alright by me, because I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” There was a slight crinkle in his porcelain skin, a flash of… vulnerability maybe? The ghost of uncertainty had definitely flown over his features, and I was surprised I’d even noticed in that instant.

Did he really think I was just going to up and leave?

The air around us stilled, drawing out the pause in the conversation. Illumi seemed to be thinking, his unsaid thoughts hanging in the air, weighting the silence further.

A cold hand laced its fingers through mine, his bruising grip grasping the majority of my attention as he spoke, tone low and cut with barely veiled malice.

“You wouldn’t leave my side, even if I told you that your _friends_ from the exam were here? That they’re taking my Killu away from me?” He practically spat the words out, as if he were grinding them through his teeth. He looked so serious, so possessive that I couldn’t help but meet his gaze, ripples of possessiveness rolling off his body.

“...You really are stupid sometimes, y’know?”

His hand jarred in mine, the silence stifling me in a thick swarm as deadly, poisonous intent swamped my senses, clogging my lungs and my next words dying before they even escaped my lips. His hair was bristling on its ends, sparking with his cold fury.

“I will **kill** you, right here, right-“

My other hand raised sluggishly, wading through some impenetrable mud as I motioned for him to stop. I had to cough quite violently to clear my throat, tongue dry.

“I _know_ they’re here, Illumi. But I came here for you, to learn from you.” _To be with you,_ I added silently, hoping he wouldn’t notice the unsaid. “I came here _partly_ out of my free will, so I won’t interfere or help them. Yes, they’re my friends, but all of my attention goes to you.”

I exhaled, finishing my mini speech as my hand groaned with the pressure he was placing on it. He’s staring at me so intently that I don’t think he’s realised that he’s close to crunching my fingers. It fucking hurt, and my bones were beginning to protest, but I had no way of releasing them from their vice. Especially as I was ensnared in the abyss of his dark eyes, bottomless and all-consuming. His gaze promised no love, no warmth or affection, only the ability to fall and be forever lost.

I don’t know when we started kissing.

Well, more like he was furiously pressing his lips to mine, his tongue catching on the seam of my mouth and prying it open. My arms had snared around his shoulders, letting him support my weight as he ravaged my mouth. His movements were incredibly skilled, and I wasn’t even able to fight back, ripples of excitement and pure arousal shooting down my spine. I didn’t think he could be so _passionate,_ so fierce and determined as my knees buckled, a groan escaping into his mouth. It only seemed to spur him on, fingers digging into my pelvis and sending a delicious tingle to my hips. I was completely consumed by his actions, my world narrowed to the slick feel of his tongue expertly navigating my mouth, the rush of blistering nen coating my skin. His aura could only be described as the epitome of darkness, but god, I wanted to drown and never resurface.

Not wanting to completely flounder due to his delicious ministrations, I unwound one of my arms carefully, ghosting my fingertips across his chest and towards his midriff. I dipped my hand beneath his belt, lightly teasing the tufts of hair I could feel beside a certain warm appendage that was hardening by the second. I completely ignored the way it twitched as I brushed by it. I really tried to hide my shock as I realised I _definitely_ couldn’t grasp it in one hand, but he must’ve noticed, because I could feel his lips contort into a wide smirk against mine, and I was _still_ being completely devoured by his mouth. It all felt so sinfully good that I knew I’d never find the restraint to stop, even if I wanted to. His body, his aura and skin absolutely overwhelmed me, consumed me. There was a deep pit of my heart that soared with the contact, with the roughness of his touch, the possessive way his figure dwarfed mine. I used to think his cold demeanour reflected the icy nothingness of his personality, but no, it barely constrained all the unwordly sins wrapped in an intoxicating package.

But it turns out, true nothingness was the sudden absence of his skin, the suffocating force snuffed into non-existence. My chest tightened, clenching around my ribs as said void invaded my body, and I was shaking with the withdrawal. God, what was happening to me? I wanted, no, I _needed-_

“Breathe, my lamb.”

Like a latch, the air rushed free as my lungs expelled and desperately shuddered for oxygen. Tremors wracked my body, but I remained stood stock still, albeit hunched as I clutched my chest. I was riddled with so much confusion, so much emptiness yet smothered by it at the same time. It was like an invisible weight was bored into my chest, and my ragged breathing did little to alleviate the pressure.

It was like I’d survived a plummet to my death.

“You almost lost yourself then; you made a wise decision in sticking beside me.” A light hand brushed against my hair, ruffling my charcoal strands. His tone had become clinical, but not without an edge of softness as I refused to meet his eyes again, afraid that whatever the fuck had just happened would pummel back into me with full force.

“Kikyo and I will work on your self-control, this is only the beginning, Ray.”

The world seemed to reanimate around me, because he was gone.

He’d actually called me by my name, and not by the nickname I was beginning to resent. I knew it had to mean something, that this all had to mean something, but I didn’t know why or what I was being led into. My whole soul seemed to tremble with exhaustion as I dragged my feet back to the safety of my cabin, mind on autopilot as so many questions buzzed within me. What was happening to me? What did Kikyo have to do with this? When would I receive any answers?

Fuck me, nothing made any sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from their undead slumber*
> 
> I have returned! 
> 
> I've honestly been sat on this chapter for a couple of months now, because i had no idea how to finish it and round it off in a good place. I'm not planning to abandon this fic anytime soon, because i have so much of it already planned!
> 
> A sincere, and massive thank you to everyone who has commented and left kudos. I pretty much read your comments immediately, and they remind me that this fic isn't total garbage and they do truly keep me motivated! Even if i don't personally reply, this is a huge thank you to you all, because words can't express how grateful i am for your support :)
> 
> Stay tuned!  
> ~Max

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think of Ray below! He's still being fleshed out but expect some _interesting_ things to happen next chapter. (After all, owing Hisoka a favour can never go well....)
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)  
> ~Max


End file.
